Monday, 24 January 2011

He's not often funny.........

My big brother, Stephen, popped round yesterday, needing to use my computer and pick my brains for his homework.  He is doing a Countryside Management course.  He was telling me that his girlfriend, Marti, reads my blog and had I posted the funny stories about him yet?  "Eh, no" says I "because I have been busy busy busy this last few weeks but I will, I promise!".

Now Stephen has the same sense of humour as myself and my sister Kay but you don't often see it cos he is usually quite grumpy!  He will kill me for saying that but it's true. It's very rare for him to come into my house in a good humour and Holly usually disappears upstairs, minutes after he arrives, as he shouts a lot and she isn't used to people shouting around her.

One time, she heard him coming before she saw him so she hid down the back of the sofa, thinking he wouldn't stay awhile as he usually just stands chatting by the living room door.  Not so this day.  Instead he sat down on the sofa that Holly was hiding behind and when he was offered a cup of coffee he accepted, something he rarely does.  Twenty minutes later and Holly is getting sore from being crouched in the one position so she just quietly stands up behind him and steps over the sofa and sits down next to him.  At which point my brother nearly has a heart attack, starts shouting expletives and I am helpless with laughter on the other sofa!.

It took about 5/10 minutes for him to calm down and Holly and I to stop laughing and I think he was left with the impression that Holly was a total nut job!

The next time he came around, Holly and I were in the kitchen.  I was making lunch and she was sitting on the kitchen work tops eating sweeties.  A CD by James Blunt was lying by the CD player and he picked it up and  said "awww you don't like his music do you?"  I said "well duh, I own the CD don't I?"  to which he said "I can't stand him" and he started singing "you're beautiful, you're beautiful" in a very high pitched voice (just like James Blunt I hasten to add), totally taking the piss and then he mimed shooting James Blunt and said " BANG! you're nae so beautiful now eh!".

Both Holly and I fell about laughing as it was hysterically funny but then Holly started choking and coughing and going blue!  She had choked on one of her sweets, she was laughing so hard and I had to slap her back a half dozen times to dislodge it!  I swear that man is lethal!

Another time, he came round and was on the scrounge for a lift home.  He lives in the country and his Land Rover was off the road so he had to walk.  I had only had my new car a few weeks so this was the first time that he had been in it.  I had barely driven out of the drive way when the car automatically locked the doors with a loud click.  Stephen turned to look at me and said "did your car just lock itself?" and I replied "yeah".  He said "that's just creepy that" and then started to claw at the window and started yelling "help, help, let me out!"over and over.  I was laughing so hard that tears were rolling down my face and I had to stop the car!

Once I calmed myself, he laughing said "I'm not often funny but when I am, I excel myself!" and you know what, I think he's right.


  1. OMG!!
    Gonna send your brothjer to me for a whikle - he sounds sooooo much better than my bruv.
    Granted, attila the hun and genghis khan would be more fun than him!!!
    In return you can have my cousin Tam for a few days. He's mpore protective of my weans than i am!!!! And he's a good man to have about!

  2. That was soooooooo funny and really had me chuckling. Good to start my monday with a laugh. Thanks & hope you , Holly & Jack have an awesome week.

  3. Hilarious!!! Especially the couch thing. That nearly made me spit coffee on my computer monitor.

  4. Julie - I am sure he would be happy to oblige!
    Odie - glad I gave you a laugh, hope you're having a lovely day
    JM - yeah the couch was the funniest!

  5. Really funny post to start the week with, so thank you for that! I also really laughed the Holly hiding behind the sofa, and I loved your brother's comment about not often being funny.....!! Hilarious!

  6. I was laughing so hard at the last one that I had to explain to my mom why I was laughing haha.

  7. Thisisme - really funny indeed especially being there
    Ditz - glad I made you laugh


Laughter is the best medicine and it's free. Thanks for visiting my blog and I look forward to hearing from you.

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