Friday, 7 January 2011

The F Word

Holly is away to London for a few days with her school.  They left Wednesday night, mega excited and I have not heard from her since.  This is not unusual as she is not a slave to her phone and only switches the damn thing on if she wants to text rather than being like me who has mine on all the time and is constantly texting.

I am missing her so much already and I really am starting to wish that Jack and the dogs could speak!  Mind you, I'd better be careful what I wish for cos imagine if the dogs started nagging for a walk every 5 minutes, like toddlers! And if Jack could speak, his first word would probably be Fuckkkkkkkkkkkk! cos it's the word I use most often, every time he has a seizure in fact so maybe not such a good idea after all :)
I hasten to add that my language is not full of swear words, honest but sometimes the F word is the only one that will suffice.  When my lovely mum first became ill with Motor Neurone Disease, she had some really crappy days.  One particular day she was in quite a lot of pain and frustrated by her body which she could no longer move and I said "awww mum, just tell it like it is" and she said "what do you mean?".

I laughed and said "well saying it's horrible and crappy sometimes just isn't enough so maybe you should just swear and be done with it, cos after all it's not just crap is it, it's fucking crap!" to which I was rewarded with a shocked "Lynne!"  Now my mum was no prude or angel but she really didn't swear much at all whereas I, during times of mega stress do resort to the F word and it was quickly becoming my word of the moment because I was under so much stress with Jack constantly being in and out of hospital at that time.

So after much encouragement, I finally got her to say "fuck" but she said it so quickly that to me there was no satisfaction in it at all!  When I explained this to her she was like "I don't get what you mean" and I then said "well, in order for it to make you feel better, the word has to be long and drawn out, kinda like a groan or a scream, like Fuuuuuckkkkkkk!

She laughed but gave it a try and I was rewarded with a great big "Fuuuuuuuuuuucccckkkkkkkkkkk!" "There now, I said, doesn't that feel better?" and she said "funnily enough, it does".  So I said "go on have another go, it'll make you feel so much better" so she let out another yell of "Fuuuuuuuuuuuccccccccccccccccccccccckkkkk" quickly followed by "cunting whoring bastard!!!!!!".

I was so shocked and exploded with laughter cos it was so so funny coming out of her mouth and the next thing we were in fits of giggles and suffice to say, she felt a whole lot better! And I was secretly chuffed that I'd been a bad influence on my mum, who knew!

It's 12.15am and Holly has just text me, a great big novel over 4 texts telling me all about her day. She is having a total blast and I feel so chuffed cos finally she has checked in with me.  Once a mum, always a mum so now I can chill a bit, knowing that she is back in the hotel, safe having had a great day.

But before I head off to my bed, I must tell you that I have been approached by a company called CSN Stores here in the UK asking me if I would be willing to do a competition/giveaway for them and the winner will receive a £25 voucher to spend.  Sounds exciting?  Well there will be more on that next week when I work out how I am going to do it!


  1. Louise and i have just had a good laugh at the blog,
    It's not just crap - it's fucking crap - couild be a takeoff of the M+S ads!!!!!
    Fell off my seat, but it was the giggle i needed!!!

  2. LOL with the story about your mum!! My mum would have been exactly the same, because I don't think I ever heard her swear! Bless her! Laughed at Julie's comment above about M&S! So glad Holly finally checked in with you, but bet she's having a great time in London. You'll be glad to have her home again though.

  3. Brilliant post and there wasnt any doubt that Holly would check in. You guys seem to have a great relationship

  4. OMG I love this story! That totally made me laugh out loud. Thank you for sharing!

  5. I always almost duck every time I say it b/c I'm waiting for my mom's rubber arm to swing out and smack me in the mouth. But sometimes it's just the best word to say!

    By the way, on the dog talking issue.. you need to read a book called "Dogs and Goddesses." I just got done reading it and it is a hoot!

  6. That's awesome that Holly is having a wonderful time. And yes cursing is wonderful, I seem to be doing it less and less.

    Guess I don't need to.


Laughter is the best medicine and it's free. Thanks for visiting my blog and I look forward to hearing from you.

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