Friday, 30 July 2010

No Patio = Mud!

Today, I realise how sad I am! The builders came today to rip up my old patio and prepare the ground for a new, all singing, all dancing lock block one. And I am so EXCITED!!!

Definitely sad, I hear you say. But you see, since my divorce, all the things I have had done to the house have been things that really needed to be done urgently, like replacing old dangerous radiators, pipes and wires that mice had previously chewed through and getting the walls of the house pointed and extending a box room by a couple of feet to make it into a single bedroom.

These I have scrimped and saved to do and until now I haven't even looked at the garden. Last summer though, Jack was able to move around less and less and getting him onto the grass was becoming more of a problem, so what to do?

Well, that's when I started looking at the patio which, I have to admit I took very little notice of before because for about 5 years a big trampoline has been plonked on top of it. So I got rid of the trampoline in time for this summer only to find that I couldn't just wheel Jack's wheelchair onto it as I could only access it from the grass rather than the path and once on it, the slabs were so uneven that the wheels of the wheelchair were getting stuck. There was also a rather unusual tree stump, sticking up through a slab which looked totally ridiculous and something I would find hilarious if it wasn't on my patio!

I have a big garden, so poor Jack not being able to go further than just outside the back door seemed so unfair so I got to thinking that this patio was such a waste of a space and I couldn't use it when I was with Jack, which meant it was useless!

I had been saving for something else so decided to ditch that idea and settle for a new patio instead.

So gleeful am I about this new patio that I have been trawling the net buying colourful pots, pretty hanging lanterns, candles and I have even invested in some solar fairy lights. Got to give Jack something eye catching to look at you know! lol That's my excuse and I am sticking to it. :-)

I now have quite a little stash of goodies and I am getting impatient to see them in their full glory, so I have to content myself with surfing the net for the patio's centre piece, which will be a very cool patio set, if only I could choose from all the lovely ones on offer!!

It's hard to picture a patio now that it has rained most of the evening. I am left with a huge mud pit which my two dogs have just had a mad race through before coming in to the living room and lying down on one of my white cushions which had fallen off the sofa. AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Not so gleeful now. :-(

Thursday, 29 July 2010


I have been writing this blog for only a few months now and I have loved writing it. I didn't think my happiness could be any more complete until I logged in earlier this week and OMG! I had not one, but two FOLLOWERS!!!

I jumped outta my seat with my hands in the air, shouting yes, yes, yes! Holly was like, what are you doing??? As usual she just thought her mum was having one of her "mad" moments. When I explained she seemed unimpressed, as you would expect from teenagers but this didn't take away my little bubble of glee!

So here's to my two followers, Sally and Susan to whom I love, adore and think the sun shines out of their butts! Thank you for following my inane chatter and thoughtful musings and I hope I don't disappoint. :-)


Jack has been at playscheme all week. I think he has taken it upon himself to frighten all the new girls working there!

When I went to pick him up yesterday, Francis, who manages the scheme said that he had taken a seizure which was quite violent and not one they had seen for a while. No sooner had they gotten over that one but he went into another one. This one totally different from the other but just as horrible.

She had just finished telling me that when he went into another one and I had to get the magnet out and use it to stop the seizure. Francis called on one of the girls to watch what I was doing as she is one of the auxiliaries from the High School who will be working with him after the summer. By now Jack was in full seizure mode, lips blue, face grey and I was quietly urging him to breathe when he finally started coughing and choking! It was only 2/3 minutes but believe me it seems like a lifetime when you are watching!!! Afterwards I looked up and they all looked quite shocked and worried and I realised how normal this has become for me and I forget just how "not normal" it actually is.

This always kinda brings me up short because believe me I don't want it ever to be something that is normal. I don't think any parent should ever have to see their child have a seizure as it is the most horrific thing ever. But if I don't ever accept it as being an everyday event then how can I learn to live with it? Because it has become so normal for me, I then have to keep reminding myself how it must be for the people who look after him in school, at home and in respite.

It is a huge responsibility. His life in their hands so to speak. Luckily for the people who look after him though, they have a support network of other staff around them and this helps enormously. And they have so much training under their belt and my boy makes sure that they get the opportunity to use it!!

Back home, Jack had a few more seizures and one that was so bizarre that Holly and I burst out laughing cos he was making the funniest of faces during it. Not very PC I know but that is our coping mechanism.

We even have names for some of them: there's the Zombie, where he just goes rigid with one arm raised and he seems frozen! Then there's the Stricken Chicken, where he is jerking his body back and forth and the Wavin' Raven where he is waving his hands around while his legs are kinda doing the same!! How's that for being so not PC???

You have to laugh other wise you would cry! Laughing uses up more calories, so you'd think I would be skinny right??? NOT!

Friday, 23 July 2010

Deaf Girl

Last night Holly lost the hearing in one ear and it was amusing trying to have a conversation with her. She kept saying I was mumbling and she was following me around trying to hear what I was saying. She had me in stiches at times.

This morning, it wasn't so funny when I was standing at the bottom of the stairs, yelling myself hoarse to get her outta bed! So after shouting for 5 minutes and getting no response I stomped up the stairs ready to lose the plot but when I opened the door and shouted again, this little head popped up and finally said "I can't hear out of the other ear now either!"

Most people would have called NHS 24 or rushed her to Accident and Emergency but there really was no need as we are unfortunately no strangers to this ailment. Last year it happened so many times she ended up having to get her ears syringed and since then we have had very little problems but I think that it is starting again.

Down the stairs she stomped. looking utterly miserable and after she doctored herself with all relevant medicine she came and sat down on the sofa. I happened to glance over at her and burst out laughing as she had two huge pieces of toilet paper sticking out both ears. This is obviously to keep the oil in her ears which she had heated to try and soften the build up of wax!

Every time I spoke to her, I had to frantically wave to try and attract her attention and then she would speak really loudly at me as if it were me who had the problem!!!
Eventually she went out into the garden to poop scoop and asked me to warn her if I was coming out too so she didn't get a fright! I laughing said "are you nuts, there is no way I would scare you when you had a shovel of poop in your hand, I'd end up wearing it!"

She was only out a minute or two when I decided to hang out the washing so I had to jump up and down, making lots of noise so she would see me. When she finally saw me, you should have seen the look she gave me, as if I was a total loony! This coming from the girl with the toilet paper sticking out both ears!!!

Back in the house, I had to endure the TV on very very loud and she even had the subtitles on! Having a conversation was a nightmare so I thought I would have a little fun with her. I asked her something and she didn't understand so when I repeated it, I just whispered it instead and she had to get up and come right up to me and yell in my ear! Tee hee hee This went on for quite a while before she caught on at which point I was in hysterics! Admit it, you would have done the same in my shoes. Kids are SO entertaining!

Later, she was sitting on the sofa and we saw someone walk past the window, obviously going round the back and then the dogs started barking in the garden. I said "go and see who that is will ya" and she was like "oh great, just send the deaf girl who can't hear anyone jump out on her out to see who the dogs are barking at!" More hilarity followed but it turned out to be a parcel delivery and not an axe murderer, as paranoid Holly would have you believe.

My friend Suzi arrived and she found Holly highly entertaining too and when I asked Holly to make us a hot drink, we had to do it in sign language cos she just couldn't hear us. As hilarious I it all was, I was feeling pretty sorry for her cos she really was quite miserable and she even had to cancel her guitar lesson cos she wouldn't have heard the notes!!! That was the only plus of the day!

Now she is upstairs tidying her bedroom and moving things around. She is hanging up pictures, mobiles and posters etc but you would think that she is trying to knock through to next door with all the racket she is making. She is hammering and banging away as if she was deaf! Oops but of course, for the moment she is!

This is obviously my karma for having great fun at her expense! I'll live :-)

Tuesday, 20 July 2010


I have been seeing a healer recently as I am so damn exhausted, so much so that I feel as if I have been walking through treacle for so many many months. Last time I saw the healer, Sonia, she said that I was holding everything in and I had to let it all out.

The problem is that when you lurch from one crisis to the next with your child, you are so busy being strong that there isn't time or space to rest and recharge. On top of that you have normal life kicking you when you're down and you just have to cope cope cope.

Every time Jack has come out of hospital, I have lost a little bit more of the child he was. I feel like I am on this constant roller coaster of grieving but there is no end, no 7 steps to go through til I feel better!

So in an effort to cry away this grief that is just sitting on my chest, crushing me, Holly and I decided to watch a weepy movie.

We trawled through our collection and came up with Bridge to Teribithia which made us cry at the cinema. The movie was just as good as we remembered and when it was getting close to the sad bit, I looked over and Holly was sitting there with the lippy trembling, eyes filled with tears and that tipped me over the edge!

So there we were, sitting on opposite sides of the room bawling our eyes out, so much so that I didn't think I could get breath when suddenly Holly said "Mum, I don't think I like this soul cleansing stuff at all". I laughed and said through my tears "what you on about? Soul cleansing?"

By this time, both our faces were blotchy and tear streaked and she said "you know, what the healer said, about letting it all out! Well I'd rather have a dirty soul than endure this regular soul cleansing stuff!"

At which point I exploded into fits of giggles, tears blinding me and I thought I was gonna fall off the blinkin' sofa!!! Over she came and we were hugging, laughing and crying and OH MY GOD it was the best soul cleansing I had ever experienced!

Monday, 19 July 2010

Night Out

Had a great night out on Saturday. Karen, Donna, Lynn and I went to Scribbles for a meal. Some of us shared the Peking Duck pizza, which is my idea of Heaven (well not quite, it smeared all over a hot guy would be better!) and copious amounts of the red nectar. Red wine for those not in the know.

From there we headed to a couple of pubs, ending up in one where we could get a boogie. This pub is unique cos it has it's very own dance pole! We had a great laugh but I couldn't persuade my mates to try out the pole, cowards! So yours truly decided that it had to be done and when I thought no one was looking I did a raunchy dance round the damn thing, sliding up and down it like I was one of the pussy cat dolls!!! NOT!! MY friends nearly pissed themselves laughing and I had to repeat the performance when one of them came back from the bar and wouldn't believe I had really done it. Believe me it wasn't any better second time round and to add insult to injury, this young guy......yes you heard me right, it was a guy.........proceeded to put me to shame while he twisted and turned and even bloody hung upside down on the bleeding thing! SHOW OFF!

The thing that made me laugh more is that the music was pretty dismal and Karen persuaded me to ask the DJ for Savage Garden, her favourite! O M G!!! Embarrassed much??? He looked about 12 and was expecting him to laugh but when he just stared at me, I thought, oh hell he doesn't even know who they are!!! After checking that he did, I slunk away with the promise that he would try.

Suffice to say, there was no Savage Garden but the music did improve and as we were strutting our stuff, this guy started dancing up close to me. I thought at first that he had bumped into me but when it happened a few times, I realised that he'd done it on purpose and that I was now supposed to dance with him. God how times have changed. Nowadays there's no asking to dance, you are just nudged and rubbed up against! It must this new age of shorthand, you know with text, email etc.

Anyway, I did dance with him, much to the hilarity of my friends but honestly I couldn't look at him after he started saying "oh go for it baby, give it to me". I truly thought I was going to burst out laughing but I managed to hold it in!!!! We left after that and sat on a bench outside the pub and people watched, one of my favourite pastimes.

What a fab night.

Friday, 16 July 2010

Holly's comment!

Holly's dad phoned from Angola this week. His usual once a month phone call. It was tea time and we were having our dinner and watching tv. After she finished her call, I asked what was up cos she seemed really mad. She said that her dad had asked what was the next show she would be doing and would she go for a part. Obviously Holly said yes, she would try but it would depend on the show. Then he said that this time....major faux pas coming up!!!.........maybe she would get the lead part as she so deserved to get it this time!!!

Holly had steam coming out of her ears cos she had played the part of Nancy in Oliver and it WAS the LEAD female part! She was like OMG did he go to the same show as everyone else or what??? I couldn't help but laugh cos her dad really doesn't listen, or take much in unless it directly involves him. When I was married to him, I had to relay information to him on a permanent stream, repeating myself til I was about nuts myself! EG. If Jack had an appointment at the hospital, he would constantly enquire "what time is the appointment?". After telling him for maybe the 15th time I would get mad and we would fall out. Basically it was like living with a kid and poor Holly is now having to put up with his unwillingness to listen properly!

Later on she came out with a cracking comment. She said "mum, why didn't you just have sex with a random guy to make me and then that way I wouldn't have the dad I have got and I would have a different one! I was in the process of taking a sip of tea and nearly spat it everywhere when she came out with that gem! My answer? I told her that I was sorry but when I was with her dad I well n truly had the LOVE GOGGLES so therefore couldn't see how things were gonna turn out! But....I reassured her that the goggles were well n truly off and EEEKKK! What was I thinking!

Sunday, 11 July 2010

Prom v Prize Giving

I had a dilemma the last week of school. Jack's Prom and Holly's Prize Giving were on the same night. Not a problem if your child wasn't disabled but a huge problem if he/she is! So what to do??? Holly said she didn't mind me not coming as Jack would only have one Primary 7 Prom. What a star she is but you see I did mind!

I had been at every Prize Giving she has been at in the last 4 years and as this was her best year yet I really didn't want to miss it. This is when being a single parent really really sucks!

So I set about getting a friend primed to text me when the 2nd year students had finished getting their prizes and that would give me time to leg it up to her school which was 5 mins walk from Jack's school.

The day dawned. My friend Kathy was coming through from Aberdeen to see Jack at his prom and Holly getting her prize so she helped me get Jack ready.

We showered him and got him into his kilt, with a little help from his granny who had arrived. Meanwhile I was texting my friend to double check she still had remembered to text me and rummaging in my handbag for the tickets for said prize giving!

After we arrived at Jack's school, photos were taken and then we proceeded into the school for the prom. My other friend, Emma also joined us as she was going to look after Jack while we went off to see Holly. Talk about a military operation!

We danced and danced with Jack in his wheelchair, each of us taking turns. We were joined by two auxiliaries and one of his special needs teachers. Just as well there was so many of us cos it was hard work and we pretty soon got tired.

Jack and Kathy led the Conga a couple of times around the school and just after that I got a text from my friend saying that it was time to head up to see Holly.

Kathy and I just had time to go to the loo and then we headed off up to Holly's school thinking that we had heaps of time only to walk in and find that she was already standing up waiting to go and get her prize! Her cousin was just in front of her and she was just being called. Bloody hell we made it by the skin of our teeth!

Holly saw us and gave us a nod and seconds later when her name was called, Kathy and I whooped, clapped and hollered like crazy things for my very clever girl! We continued to give all her friends this treatment much to Holly's delight! She thinks it is very cool!

Then once prize giving was over, we set off with Holly and two of her pals who gate crashed the Prom. They got away with it as it was their old school and their old teachers were chuffed to see them.

We partied til 10pm and Jack made it through the whole night without a single seizure but then had one lasting 5 mins as we were getting him into the car. Despite this he didn't sleep after as you would expect. What a boy, he is such a fighter.

After Kathy and I put Jack to bed, I couldn't help feeling very proud of my lovely children. And you know I felt kinda proud of myself's not easy being a single parent, nor is it my choice but I think I have done good with my kids.

1st Wives Club

The ex and his parents flew off to Azerbijan and this time they made it without an ash cloud in sight! So you would think that as of Friday the 25th June I would finally be a fully paid up member of the First Wives Club.

For a whole weekend I thought I was until Holly got a lift to school with Granny on the Monday morning. She had no sooner gone out the door it seemed when she called me on her boyfriend's mobile to say that NO her dad did not get married after all. The reason you ask? Well it would seem that the bride to be's granny dropped down dead on the day of the wedding and as they are Muslim, she had to be buried before sunset!!!!

OH MY GOD!!!! Laugh??? I nearly fell off my chair, I laughed so much! Not because of the old lady dying but because this was two acts of god preventing him from getting married! Anyone with half a brain would be questioning whether getting married was a good idea or not! I mean, HELLO???? As I began to spread the news among my friends I really thought some of them were gonna stop breathing they laughed so hard, so to be fair it wasn't just me with the very warped sense of humour!!!

When Holly got home at night she was still laughing about it and apparently it had caused great hilarity among her pals.

My lovely daughter has her mother's warped and very wicked sense of humour. May it always be with her! Tee hee hee

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