Monday, 28 February 2011

Idle minds

A few months back, while on Facebook, I got to wondering how they choose the adverts on your profile page. Look what can I say?  I have an inquiring mind so I came to the conclusion that it was to do with your relationship status.

One night after a few glasses of red wine, I decided for a laugh to put my theory to the test.  It was a Saturday night, I was stuck at home so indulge me!

My facebook status states that I am single therefore I was get all the dating adverts on my home and profile  
page.

source

I changed it to married which instantly caused people to comment.  Within minutes of my status change, I was getting adverts for furniture stores, financial companies and freebies for washing powder.  This had me in hysterics so I started commenting about it and this set off some of my friends who also changed their relationship status or just told me what was on theirs.

source

One friend, who is married, had adverts for 'falling pregnant naturally' which was hilarious cos she already has 5 children!!!  Another friend, also married had adverts for incontinence and hormone replacement therapy.  I nearly fell off my seat laughing at that one!

Every time I refreshed the page, something new would appear and make me laugh.  The upshot was that when I was 'married' I obviously needed debt advice, new furniture and household freebies but when I was 'single' I needed to join as many dating sites as they could throw at me, take up hobbies or join wine clubs!

Just to mix things up a bit, I then changed it to 'in a relationship' which then caused adverts to pop up for shoes, underwear and mortgages. WTF? Then I changed it back to 'married' and finally got adverts for falling pregnant and incontinence pads! Ha ha ha priceless.

ooh look what I've got to look forward to!

Maybe it was the wine but really, this entertained me the whole night.  I know, I hear you, it really doesn't take much does it but you know what they say, little pleases little minds!

In my pickled state, I forgot to change my status back therefore left it as 'married' for a few days, causing total confusion and questions by the bucket load.  

Ooops! I will admit though that I was happy to go back to seeing adverts for dating sites cos all the other ones were just reminding me of how old I was and lets face it, who really wants that?

Saturday, 26 February 2011

Saturday ramblings

I am having one of those weeks, you know the kind, where you are just so down on yourself?

I feel constantly tired and this really affects my motivation.  Lack of motivation means I barely get the minimum done around the house and the washing in the basket seems to double in size.  Everything just seems to be so much effort, then I fall into bed and I can't sleep!  What the f**k is that all about?

Then I look in the mirror and give myself a hard time cos all I see is this exhausted, frumpy blob and I just want to crawl back under the duvet and sleep for a hundred years.



Thankfully the funk didn't last very long and by today, I am feeling so much brighter.  

The last two nights, I have had a house full of noisy teenagers who have entertained me with their stories and who have made me laugh so much.  It's been a while since we have had so many teens round as things became a bit complicated after Holly ditched her last boyfriend. You know how it is with a break-up, sadly you lose friends along the way.

To add to the fun, we have one of Holly's friends staying over for 10 days.  Dizz is such a scream and she has had us in hysterics this week with her antics on the computer, winding up Holly's boyfriend David, telling him that she loves Holly more than he does and that "she's MINE!".



Fortunately David gives as good as he gets and takes it all in good fun but it's been highly entertaining for myself and Holly.

Last night, she wanted time alone with David so that she could 'snog him' before his dad came to pick him up so I said she could leave her friends and be anti social for ten mins.  While she was out the room, I suggested that when the ten mins was up that we all go and bang on the kitchen door yelling for her "to put him down now"!!!  Tee hee hee, I am so wicked!



This morning I had to get Holly up early as she was going weasleing with Outfit Moray. It is a mixture of low level climbing and caving.  She has done it before so she was quite excited about it this morning. This is organized through Moray Young Carers, run by the Princes Trust. I think this is the one and only time my little 'duvet monster' doesn't have to be dragged kicking and screaming outta bed.




Holly has done loads of activities with Outfit Moray and it has had a profound affect on her confidence.  She had a total ball and couldn't stop talking about it.  They were so impressed with her that they invited her onto the Gordonstoun yacht, The Ocean Spirit and she spent a few days sailing around.  She didn't want to go at first but I accepted on her behalf cos I knew she would love it once she was there. Gordonstoun  is where Princes Charles,  Andrew and Edward went to school and not far from Elgin.

Gordonstoun School

I'll let you know how it went.



Friday, 25 February 2011

Getting the silent treatment

When I got Jack home from school on Tuesday night, after being in respite for 4 days, he gave me the silent treatment!

I know you're thinking, silent treatment, but he doesn't speak!  Well believe me, this boy doesn't need to.  A lot of people make the mistake of thinking that non verbal people don't communicate but his whole body language was giving me the message that he was not a happy bunny and my punishment was to be ignored.

a bit like this

Every time I spoke to him, he would refuse to give me any eye contact, twisting his head this way and that. He had such a look on his face that I really couldn't help laughing.  The more I laughed, the harder he worked not to respond.  The look on his face was totally priceless, halfway between a smirk and a glare.

and a wee smirk like this

Finally after 3 hours of hard slog, he gave me a half smile. I jumped up and down with delight, gave him a big, sloppy kiss and he responded by giving me a huge beaming smile. I tickled him then and he started really chuckling and I knew that I had been forgiven.

then laughing like this

Typical man, making me work so damn hard.

Thursday, 24 February 2011

Off to the concert we go

Monday morning I was up early, packed and ready to go by 9.30am. Shocked!  So was I!  I am not renowned for being on time but early?  Unheard of.

We were waiting for Holly's friend Tammy who had decided to walk over early but as she wasn't here by 10.15, we set off, hoping to see her on the way, which we did.  She informed us that she had brought 'fake' moustaches!  Random or what?  Picked up Dizz who was carrying a box of bright funky sunglasses so we sat in the car, attaching fake mustaches and donning the shades.

We stopped in Aberlour, the home of the famous Walker's Shortbread and went into the local supermarket there to get munchies for the journey.  We caused great hilarity there cos we still had on our moustaches and shades.  The shop assistant, a guy, asked us what the occasion was and I replied "that we were off to a concert and just thought we'd add a little fun to the journey".  He laughed when I told him "my moustache is fake, honest" and he laughingly said that "there are plenty of women who come in here with real ones, I'll have you know".  We all cracked up laughing, even more so when he shouted, as we were leaving, "that there was a special offer on razors in the next ailse!".  I think we made his day.

What can I say? That's me bottom left.

A couple of miles down the road we came across road works and we wound down the windows and the girls were singing "Bob the Builder" and heckling out the window at the workmen!  The workmen joined in the fun and heckled back although we got a few weird looks for our dodgy moustaches!

By the time we stopped at a McDonalds in Perth we'd ditched the disguises.  After getting our food, much hilarity ensued and we caught the attention of the manager, who swept under our table a half dozen times, kept looking at us and smiling, especially when Holly, after opening the paper bag that held her blueberry muffin, stuck the sticker seal onto her top lip, really sealing it on and Dizz, without warning, reached across the table and ripped it off!!  Holly let out such a screech and I really thought I was gonna pee my pants!  I was laughing so hard that I couldn't breathe, tears were rolling down my face and Muttley didn't have a look in!  Meanwhile, Dizz and Tammy are equally helpless while Holly is cupping her mouth, groaning about how "if this is what waxing is like, then she was never ever getting it done!".

Got a sore lip Holly???

Finally we got to our hotel in Edinburgh.  We chilled for a while before having dinner then jumped on the bus, armed with a map and some sketchy directions from the receptionist.  We found the venue though and couldn't believe the size of the queue, since it was only 10 mins after the doors had opened!  Luckily it moved along quite quickly and this time I wasn't privy to any explicit teenage conversations like last time!! Shame really cos that did give me such a laugh and great blogging material too.

Inside, the venue was similar to the previous one and we manged to get near the front but down the side this time.  I endured (sorry Dizz, but really he was crap) a guy called Sage yelling to background music, mixed by some DJ, for about half an hour, then we patiently waited for The Midnight Beast to make an appearance.  Dizz and I had a difference of opinion about Sage.  She loved him and his music, whereas I thought he was shit! Eventually she persuaded me to cut him some slack.  It was either that or she was gonna torture me with his music at a later date! Some lanky guy in front of us, obviously overdosed on the beans before he came out cos he was farting for Scotland.  At some point, I swear I could taste it. Eeeeeewwwwwwwwww! Some people just take sharing to a whole new level.

When finally The Midnight Beast came on, the crowd went nuts and they were just as good as last time.  Within minutes, I was jumping around, waving my arms in the air and singing my wee heart out.  There were times that they got so close to us that we were nearly able to reach out and touch them, but not quite although Dizz just managed it.  Me, I took that opportunity to breathe some fresh air since 'smelly butt guy' had surged forward too. The concert ended with a bang, literally, as we were showered in confetti.

source

By the time the band were finished, we were hot, sweaty and tired but Dizz still managed to get up the energy to collect as much of the confetti that she could fit into her hat. Apparently she collects it at every concert. Eh, ok, weird but if it makes her happy who am I to speak.  When we got outside, Holly was most indignant cos some girl thought she was Tammy's mum!  This came about cos Holly was protecting Tammy, who is tiny, from being pushed and shoved by some random girls.  They stopped after Holly glared and one girl said to the other "her mum's giving us a filthy look!".   I couldn't stop laughing cos Tammy is 18 and older than Holly.  I think it was the highlight of Tammy's day.  Snigger snigger.

Outside, we waited to get a glimpse of the band.  I'd forgotten the camera (oops!) so Holz was using her iphone and she doesn't know how to put the flash on so we weren't going to get good photos.  After half an hour we were rewarded with the appearance of Ashley, Stefan and Drew.  There was a mad dash to be first to get autographs and photos but after much persistence from Dizz, we managed and my three teenagers were ecstatic. Dizz even managed to accost the really crappy talented Sage so finally I was able to persuade them it was time to leave.

Holly's signed calendar

Back at the hotel, it was after midnight before we fell into bed, they were so high.

Next morning we were up early, Holly in grumpy mode, cos hey it's morning............groaaannnnnnnnnn! When Tammy and Dizz joined us, Dizz looked equally grumpy.  It wasn't until she left the room for a minute that Tammy explained why.  It turned out that Dizz slept through her alarm and didn't respond to Tammy's gentle persuasions to get up (she had thrown a pen at her first!), so she dripped cold water on Dizz'z face! Holly and I exploded with laughter especially when Tammy said that "their room had been very quiet since, with Dizz just glaring at her!".  It's even funnier when you know that Tammy is so little and timid whereas Dizz is fearless!  When Dizz came back into the room, I was rolling about on top of my bed, holding onto my sides, crying with laughter. Her only comment was "so she's told you then!".



As you can imagine, the car journey home was much more subdued cos they were all shattered and every time I remembered about how Tammy woke up Dizz, I just collapsed into fits of giggles, much to Dizz's disgust. Great fun!

Monday, 21 February 2011

Lazy day

Yesterday, Sunday, I slept late and didn't get up til 11am. How decadent is that? For those of you who are carers, you will know that this is such a rarity and I suppose I appreciate it all the more because of that.

By the time I got downstairs, both Shiloh and Loki were cross legged and chomping at the bit to get out for a pee.  They are such good dogs.  Nothing fazes them and having to wait a bit longer to go out yesterday was not really a problem for them, they were still jumping about like a pair of puppies.  Once they were fed, watered and fussed over, I made a cup of tea and sat and watched mindless TV.



You see, I was totally 'child free' and the silence was absolute bliss.

Jack was in respite and Holly was staying at David's house.  I was coerced into taking her there Saturday night, after we went  through to Inverness to watch the movie Paul.  I wasn't sure that I was going to like this movie but it was really quite funny and it passed in a blur.  Afterwards, while we were heading home, Holly said that she just loves it when I go into a fit of hysterics cos it is really funny!  Eh, excuse me? Yeah apparently, I have a laugh like Muttley from the Wacky Races.  I wish I could say that I didn't but em, well, yep, I do! Click on the word Muttley to hear 'me'.

Muttley (source)

On the way back from Inverness last night, Holly and David are texting backing and forth and she informs me that he left his toothbrush at ours from the night before and could we go in past our house en route and collect it! I laughingly told her that he'd better buy himself another toothbrush cos I am not driving the 9 miles to Rothes every time he forgets it and he needn't bother thinking he is getting a drawer to leave his stuff here either!!!

I thought my days of sleepovers were over but since he lives quite a bit away from her, it makes sense for him to stay at ours, I have a spare room after all and I suppose at least this way, I get to know him too as they often sit and chat to me.  He has even expressed an interest in helping with Jack ie: learning how to recognize a seizure and using the magnet.  Teenagers get such a hard press these days but I personally think they are great.  They are so much fun and they see the world in such a simple way as they are not bogged down with responsibility.

So Holly stayed at his place on Saturday night and by the time I finally got home it was 11.45pm.  I just fell into my bed, didn't even bother to read.  Now that is a rarity, shows how tired I was.


So Sunday was a day of reading blogs, writing posts and catching up on tv programmes that I had recorded. Oh, that and doing bits of the never ending job that is housework.  I think I am finally getting to the bottom of my washing basket.....I can see the bottom, woo hoo but not for long as the 'duvet monster' will just replenish it when I am not looking!  She is soooooooooo sneaky that way.

I have also put away the mountainous boxes of supplies that arrived for Jack the other day.  Thankfully it only comes once every 4 weeks cos I am usually sweating by the time I am done!

Today, Monday, I am taking Holly and her friends Dizz and Tammy to The Midnight Beast concert in Edinburgh. We are so looking forward to it so it should be great fun.  A car full of hyper teenage girls is just my kinda fun, I think!  Ask me later, I might have changed my mind!

I have left my dad in charge of the dogs so hopefully they will get plenty of walks and attention.

Have a good day folks :-)


Sunday, 20 February 2011

I wanna know............

Karen over at Puppy Kisses forwarded this survey to me.  I have to complete the set of questions and then pass it on to some of my fellow bloggers.  Go check out her site, she is a lovely person and her dogs are just so cute.


So here we go...........


Survey Questions: 

1. If you have pets, do you see them as merely animals, or are they members of your family? 

I definitely think of them as family but I don't baby them cos I just find that is so not me.  They are well loved and having a pair of dogs snuggled at your feet while you blog is just bliss.

2. If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be? That Jack was well and able to walk again.

3. What is the one thing most hated by you? Bullies and I freaking hate spiders!

4. What would you do with a billion dollars? I would make sure my family and friends were helped out and then I would set up a trust fund for both Holly and Jack for when they were older to help Holly buy a house and Jack the care he needs when I am not around.  Then I would have a holiday , somewhere exotic with all my family and friends, that lasted for about 6 weeks.  Party party party!!! The rest I would donate to the charities close to my heart: Cancer Research and Unique.


5. What helps to pull you out of a bad mood? I am not often in a bad mood to be honest but anyone who makes me laugh can lift me up, a hug from my lovely Holly and a rare smile from Jack can also make my day.

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being 
loved by someone? oh that is an easy one, being loved.  Cos, what's not to love huh??? lol


7. What is your bedtime routine? Connect Jack's feed pump, lock all the doors, put the dogs to bed and wait for Holly to come in and give me a kiss.  Then I do the cleanse, tone and moisturize routine when I remember faithfully every night, chat with Friends with Perks for 10 mins then read a book til my eyes are closing. 

8. If you are currently in a relationship, how did you meet your partner? Online dating and then we text for about 2 years before meeting.

9. If you could watch a creative person in the act of the creative process, who would it be? I love to watch Holly drawing, it is the most amazing thing to watch the picture explode onto the page.  A famous person I'd like to watch be creative is Enrique!  Just watching him make a music video would be like my version of porn...........that man is so hot! Have you seen his butt in leather trousers..........OMG!

10. What kinds of books do you read? All sorts.  I love the Diana Gabaldon books, The Outlander Series and not just because they are set less than 40 miles from where I live! If you haven't read them, then I highly recommend them, they are pretty addictive. I like Jodie Picoult's books as well as there is always a twist to them. I also read a lot of crime novels and am just working my way through the third book in the Lisbeth Salander series, The Girl Who Kicked The Hornets Nest.  I just can't put it down.


11. How would you see yourself in ten years time? Knackered! I don't actually look that far ahead.  A month or two is a far as I am willing to go because otherwise I couldn't keep going! Still laughing hopefully and having a bit more time to myself :)

12. What’s your fear? Losing my children or someone close to me.

13. Would you give up all junk food for the rest of your life for the opportunity to visit outer space? Ha ha ha, I don't think I would get the respite so it's not a valid question for me!  Really though, I have no interest in visiting outer space but can I nominate Father of the Year to go in my place???  Imagine that, he would be light years away, there really is heaven on earth. It's a reasonable request me thinks!  

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor? Single and rich of course, are you nuts!  Mmmm I don't intend to ever get married again so maybe cohabiting and poor?  Will that do? lol

15. What’s the first thing you do when you wake up? Do!  You want me to do something first thing? Doing means having to think! You want me to think? My body is in shock at the brutal awakening, compliments of the noisy alarm clock.  My first instinct is to GROAN!!

16. If you could change one thing about your spouse/partner what would it be? I wouldn't change a thing but I wish he didn't live so far away.

17. If you could pick a new name for yourself what would it be? Oh it would have to be something naughty cos lets face it Lynne is neither naughty or nice it just is!  How about Lola, cos she was a showgirl ya know (as in the song by Barry Manilow) or mmmmmmm let me think....Scarlett cos quite frankly, I just don't give a damn or how about Southern Comfort Brandy cos brandy makes me randy it's cool to be named after a drink! 

18. Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing that special someone has done? I would definitely forgive but you have no hope in hell of me forgetting cos it's imprinted on my heart now and revenge will be mine so don't even expect it :)

19. If you could only eat one thing for the next 6 months, what would it be? Chicken Fajitas cos I just love love love them.

  
I pass this on to everyone cos I am a nosy bugger inquisitive person and I demand gotta know
your answers.

Saturday, 19 February 2011

Tiny Tears

I am one of 7 children.  When I was little, we used to live in the country, next to a river and this, people, was our playground.  My mum and dad would often be found playing Hide and Seek, Rounders, Skipping, taking us walks and my dad taught us to dive off the rocks into the rapid flowing river.  The biggest high was swimming down the rapids of the river and of course being kids, we were pretty fearless. We also used to climb underneath the Findhorn bridge and you could hear the traffic rumbling by up above us.

our playground

As a child, I totally loved my dolls and every year I would ask Santa for a Tiny Tears and every year it never came but I did get the latest  'in' doll at the time so really I couldn't complain.  My big sis had a tiny tears and she just loved it.  She had had it a long long time and really looked after it.

Now big sis was two and a half 5 years older than me  (the age difference is a story all by itself!) and finally she decided that she had outgrown her tiny tears.  She knew how much I loved that doll so she made a huge deal of giving it to me, making me promise to love and cherish her as much as she had and I swore that I would do that and more besides.

the coveted doll

The day I was given the doll, was a beautiful sunny day and so I decided after much playing with her, that she could do with a swim.  So I took her down to the river and played with her some more, chatting away to her, still in awe that she was finally mine and really feeling like this was the best day of my life ever. Hey stop laughing, I was a kid remember.

I spent the whole afternoon playing with her, in and out of the water and it was starting to get near dinner time so I thought I would finally take her for a swim down the rapids before heading home.  I tentatively crossed over the stones into the middle of the water, sat her down on my knee, facing outwards, told her not to be scared, clutched her to my chest and off we went.  It was over in the blink of an eye but so much fun and when I finally scrambled out of the water, I looked down at her to tell her how brave she'd been and let out the most blood curdling scream cos where her eyes had been were just dark hollow holes.

Traumatized wasn't the word I will have you know!!!!  I frantically looked about me but there were no eyes to be seen.  I spent ages looking for them but they had disappeared and I couldn't even look at the doll without wanting to scream.  I packed up my stuff and cried all the way home.

It's enough to give you bloody nightmares!

My big sis was justifiably upset and was equally traumatized by this now 'eyeless creature' and my poor mum had her work cut out to calm us both down.  Big sis felt that I had not taken care of her treasured doll cos I had only had her in my possession one afternoon don't ya know! I felt so bad for her and me, especially since I had taken the greatest of care but who knew the bloody thing's eyes were gonna fall out after a wee trip down the rapids!  I mean, wtf?  How was I supposed to know that swimming the rapids was gonna give it a disability?  Me thinks that has kinda come back to haunt me in a way, don't ya think?

That night, after the drama and upset had settled down, we said our goodbyes to tiny tears and laid her and all  her worldly possessions, to rest on the top of the outside dustbin.  It was such a solemn affair that I had to stifle the urge to giggle cos my nerves were getting the better of me but I managed. When the dustbin lid went on top of her, I breathed a huge sigh of relief that I didn't have to look at that freak show of a doll any more!

Suffice to say, the eyeless tiny tears haunted my dreams on a regular basis and I was sure I was gonna wake up and see her sitting at the end of my bed, finger pointing as if to say "You killed me!". I never did get another one and to be honest it put me off the damn doll for ever.

it's evil I tell ya!
Big sis never forgave me ya know and every now and then the subject comes up and I cringe cos honestly I didn't do it on purpose!




Friday, 18 February 2011

I'd like to thank............

It's  award time again and I can never get enough of the things :)

Twilightgazing@As it is, As it happens awarded this to me earlier this week cos she reckons I am quite funny. Woo hoo, thanks girlie, I aim to please. So if you haven't dropped by her blog, then go check her out.


T
So the Rules to this award are:

** Link to the person who gave you this award.  Done :)

**Say seven things about yourself that no one knows (or at least you think no one knows).
I have been given this award before but hey far be it for me to pass on the chance to tell ya more about yours truly so here goes:

1)  The day I was given Jack's 1st diagnosis of cerebral palsy, I went straight round to my mum and dad's house and was really upset.  I had Jack balancing on my knee, he was about 9 months old, I was crying and quite distraught when he started really chuckling and laughing.  He obviously thought the noise I was making was hysterically funny and we all fell about laughing cos he'd not laughed up til then.  

2)  I went to see the band Marillion in concert and one of the guitarists kept throwing his plectrum at me.  He must have thrown at least 10 but I kept missing them! Bummer but he did think it was quite funny as did the folk around me who were managing to catch them.

3)  I have only ever been in love twice but I've been in LUST more times than I care to mention! I know which one I prefer ;)

4)  I cheekily chatted up an ambulance driver to give myself and my friend Angie a lift to my car in his ambulance! She had just had a dose of radiotherapy, was tired and my car was parked quite a bit away!!!  You see what a little bit of flirting can achieve?

5)  I really value my friends and have only ever let go of 2 or 3 of them because they were no longer good for me.

6)  I have laughed so much that I have peed myself!!!!  Ooops!

7)  I love fashion jewelry and a really quirky piece can set off an outfit.  I like really unusual stuff.  I am not a lover of gold but prefer silver, white gold or platinum.  Not that I own any platinum jewelry, I wish :) 

** Pass the award along to seven other people who post about at least the slightly amusing things and tell them.

Well I think, since this one has been doing the rounds a lot lately that you all deserve it, so help yourselves people and I look forward to hearing 7 things about you all.

** Pass the rules on. Done, I think?




Thursday, 17 February 2011

Retail therapy

Remember my post Lets Go Shopping?  I will admit that I didn't spend long deliberating cos they were just totally awesome so check them out............




Please ignore the 'peely wally' (white) legs!

The reason I loved them so much is because they were made to celebrate the 70th anniversary of the Beano comic published by a Scottish company and it is a comic that I grew up with.
The best news is that I got them for £80 on her website instead of the £203 that was charged everywhere else.  BONUS!!! Don't you just love a bargain.

That meant that I had some money left over so I bought some underwear, which was a necessity rather than a luxury so now my boobies are happy! LOL

Not content with spending my money, I decided to spend Jack's Christmas vouchers too and since he has so much stuff to pack for respite, I thought I would buy him some groovy luggage.  The holdall that I have for his stuff is really big but still I find myself having to carry some of it.  I wanted something funky cos after all, he is a groovy kinda dude so I trawled the net and ordered this cool holdall.

This is the 'blog' design! Very fitting huh.
There wasn't much change so I bought a stethoscope as the physio had recommended one for listening into Jack's lungs so that I would know for sure if they were getting congested.  Holly and I had great fun with it!
I really could have done with it last week when his chest was really bad but hey, I'm sure he will give me plenty opportunity to use it in the future.

Jack is in respite tomorrow so the new luggage will get it's first outing.  The bag is huge!  The photo really doesn't do it justice but I should be able to fit everything in it.

He has been quite listless and lethargic today and in a bit of pain.  As it is not contagious, I phoned respite to check that they would still be happy to take him and thank god they didn't see there being a problem, as long as all meds were labelled with his name and the dosage. Huge sigh of relief cos really, I am running on empty and desperately need a break.

I plan to sleep, sleep and sleep!  Well not quite but I'm not gonna plan heaps of things as I am taking Holly and her friends Tammy and Dizz to a concert in Edinburgh on Monday night, to see The Midnight Beast.


It's an 8 hour round trip so that alone will be quite tiring. We are staying overnight so I will get a chance to recharge my batteries before heading back.  It should be good fun.  The girls are getting really excited about it now and the car stereo will be playing nothing but their tunes all the way there, I'm sure.

Oh and I am sure that I will manage to get some blogging in there somehow or other.




Wednesday, 16 February 2011

A day in the life of.........

Getting Jack ready for school this morning, I had a wee accident.  I was carrying the basin of soapy water into his room and I must have tripped cos the next thing I knew, the whole lot flew through the air and I took a frantic leap forward to catch it all but it stotted off the side of the basin and landed in a soapy heap all over his carpet!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!  I spent a good 10 minutes trying to mop it up, muttering under my breath the whole time.  Holly, bless her, came to see what the noise was all about and just laughed and gave me a hug.  Jack meanwhile was looking on, giving me that look, you know the one......the one that says "save me from the incompetent one!".

source

That meant that I was then running 10 minutes late. Then while I was giving him his meds, one of the meds blocked the peg and no amount of trying to flush it through was gonna make it budge. This meant that I had to take the peg button out of his tummy and put in a new one.  It's a simple job but you need to do it carefully and slowly to make sure you position the new one into his stomach.  This set me back another 10 mins and believe me the sweat was dripping down my back cos I was running out of time, the bus was gonna be here any minute..............aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....again.

This is what goes into the hole in his tummy.  It is held in place by filling the balloon at the bottom with water.

Luckily for me the peg went in without a hitch and we were good to go.  I finished getting him dressed, got him into his chair expecting the bus to be waiting but there was no sign.  So I quickly filled in Jack's school diary and seizure/fluid book, checked his magnet was in his bag and even managed to get some feed supplies ready for taking to school before the bus appeared.  Yay, they were running about 15 mins late too, glad it wasn't just me.

Just before I got into the shower, Nancy, who helps me out with housework and ironing on a Wednesday, phoned to tell me her daughter had gotten the results back from her biopsy and it wasn't good news.  Nancy wasn't sure but she thought it was Lymphoma but not sure which one.  I had a feeling it would be, when she was describing her symptoms to me and the swelling on her neck was scaring me half to death because that was how mine started.  What can you say at a time like this apart from sending your love and offering to be a shoulder to cry on?

I then threw myself into the shower, dressed and was out the door 20 mins later to pick up my friend Moira as we were going to our first meeting of the support group for Parents of Special Needs Children.

bliss oh bliss

It went ok.  Seven of us were there, not bad for the first time and the stories they had to tell were quite shocking.  We were able to discuss quite a few things, mainly to do with benefits they can apply for and about who to speak to about education as some parents are led to believe that they don't need a Co-ordinated Support Plan.  Without one of these, the school can not apply for funding, to get the extra help your child needs.

The meeting lasted about an hour and it passed in a blur.  Moira and I went to Baxter's after for lunch.  If you've heard of Baxter's soup, well this is the place that they make it.  They have a visitors centre, shops and a cafe there and the specialty is their pancakes, served with ice cream and maple syrup.  To die for!  But we just had soup and a sandwich and we struggled to finish that, as the portions are huge.  Moira made me laugh cos she was eying up the pancakes, thinking she would have one after her soup/sandwich but even she had to admit defeat.

they are much bigger than this, take up the whole of the plate but you get the gist

The I picked Holly and her friend Dizz up from school then dropped Moira back home.  I managed a cup of tea and started to write this post and then it was off back to school to drop them off.  I had 45 mins before I had to meet Jack off the bus for his rebound therapy so I quickly ran around the house, tidying.

Jack was sleeping when he came off the bus.  He slept through me taking off his hat and jacket but when I went to remove his shoes,  he leapt about 6 feet in the air!  I knew something was wrong straight away so I took off his sock and his foot was swollen, hot, red and blotchy.  The other one was not as bad but also swollen.

I checked his school diary to see if anything had been written in it and when there was nothing,. I called them.
They said he hadn't hurt his foot at all that they were aware of and really that was all I needed to know so that I could rule that out.  Debbie from rebound let me phone my doctors from the landline phone there cos when you call now you have to choose from options and I can't do that on my crappy mobile!

The receptionist said that she would get a doctor to call me, so I headed home.  A half hour later he called and I'd to take Jack straight up.  Holly helped me get him into the car and we were seen straight away.  Jack was not happy letting the doctor touch his feet and kept drawing up his knees.  The doc said straight away that he thought it was Cellulitis but that it wasn't contagious to either myself or Holly but that if he didn't get antibiotics, it could spread.



So after getting the prescription, I went home via the chemist and we finally got home at around 5.40pm.  I was nearly an hour late with his feed so quickly gravity fed him, then Holly brought the antibiotic and painkillers through so that I could administer them.  Turns out the antibiotics have to be given on an empty stomach..........aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!

This day has just been full of aaaaaaahhhhh moments and I had another one about an hour later when I was trying to put the covers onto Jack's chair which I'd taken off to wash for the first time.  Never again.  It was like a jigsaw puzzle but the worst jigsaw puzzle ever!  I wrestled with the damn thing for over an hour til finally it looked like it did in the picture.  As is typical of these things, there are instructions for adjusting the chair but none for putting the covers back on.

this is his chair, the covers look a bit like this now lol

We finally got Jack into his chair so that we could wheel it through the house to put him to bed.  Holly washed his feet and we put lots of moisturiser on but he really was sore and kept shaking.  My poor wee man.

I have managed to get 2 doses of the antibiotics into him and painkillers so he is now quite comfortable.

Now I am going to fall into my bed and sleep like sleeping beauty, except not for a 100 years, more like 7 hours!

Tuesday, 15 February 2011

It's only poop!

Well, Holly's new boyfriend was chuffed to bits with her homemade Valentine's Gift.  His gift was homemade too; he made her flowers and drew her a picture.

How cute is that?  and totally priceless.

She was smiling when I got her up early, I on the other hand resembled a rather grumpy version of 'early man'. I really don't do mornings, they come way too early in the day for my liking!  Holly and I don't even speak to each other first thing, just communicate via grunting noises and god forbid anyone asks us a question cos our brains just canna handle it!



Yesterday my brain really was not working.  Well the multi tasking bit anyway.  My friend, Kathy, called while I was in the middle of getting Jack up for the day.  It was about 11am cos he was still sleeping up til then.  So there I was, phone wedged between ear and shoulder, chatting away while I was in the process of changing Jack's pad.  It was a poopy one, so not easy at the best of times but when multitasking, makes it just that little bit more tricky but hey I normally manage.

Half way through the conversation, I leaned forward to see if I had managed to clean it all up and in doing so, I loosened the hold on my phone and it went 'plop' bottom first into the poop!  Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!
Meanwhile, Kathy is still chatting away and oblivious to the fact that she is talking to me whilst nestled in a pile of smelly poop but I think my screech kind of alerted her that something was amiss.


Well there was no way I was speaking into that phone while it was in that position so I had to put her on speaker phone so that I could fill her in on the gory details.  Her response was to absolutely wet herself laughing and ring off!  Grrrrrrrrrrrrr!  Jack is of course, completely oblivious to the drama unfolding around about him as he has slept through it all.

I plucked the phone outta his pad, attacked it with baby wipes and then got a piece of gauze, sprayed it with disinfectant and wiped the phone again.  Suffice to say, it is none the worse for it's ordeal and smells as good as new!  You should have seen Holly's face when I told her what I'd done........hysterically funny, even more so when she then said she would not use the phone ever again.  Since I have 3 phones in the house, she isn't to know which one it was so she most definitely will use it again, unwittingly!

After that little drama, Granny Mac came to babysit while I went for the induction meeting for my course on Health and Social Care.  There is only going to be 3 of us on this pilot course but only 2 of us were there yesterday and can you believe the other girl's name?  Take a wild guess people.  Yep, you've guessed it her name was none other than Lynn Mckenzie!!! I mean, apart from the fact that she has no 'e' on the end of her first name, we are the same.  What is the likelihood of that?  I thought that I was unique but it would seem not and I am truly taken aback cos that is sooooo messing with my groove!  On the plus side, she is a chatty, happy character like 'moi' so we should get on well.



After 2 hours of having my brain bombarded with all that is involved with the course, I wanted to run hell bent in the opposite direction am not scared, honest!  I am trying not to be overwhelmed by the enormity of the fact that the assessor is going to be watching and assessing me while I feed Jack, shower him, change his pad, communicate with him and the many other things that I do.  I am probably doing it all wrong as I have had no training whatsoever and probably am not up to the 'standard' that you have to be, in order to get a job caring but hey it will all be very interesting, a steep learning curve and in a bizarre way, I am really looking forward to it.

I already have my first written task to do and we meet up again in 3 weeks so I will keep you posted on my progress.







Monday, 14 February 2011

Romance is in the air

Last night, Holly's two friends, Daniel and Jordan came to visit.  Daniel and Jordan brought me a Valentine Cake!  How sweet is that? I thought to begin with it was for Holly but they said "no, it was for me, cos she was going to be getting stuff for Valentine's Day anyway".

It was a white cake with a red heart in the middle, with the words "hot stuff" written on it. That totally made me laugh cos, what, who me?  They are just being kind but I was so chuffed none the less.


We all had a slice of cake and I washed mine down with wine cos after the day I had had, I was feeling the need to partake of a smidge.

I love when Holly's pals come around cos we have so much fun.  I just love the way that teenagers think and their humour is just the best.

Daniel has Tourettes's Syndrome and this manifests in tics, involuntary and uncontrollable sounds and movements. His Tourette's can be triggered by the cold, nervousness and stress.  When he has outbursts of swear words, it sends us into fits of giggles just because it is so random and out of the blue. I hasten to add that we are not laughing at him, we are laughing with him and it's good that his network of friends are not in the least bit fazed by his tourettes.

So while Daniel and Jordan were in the house, there was a knock at the door and the dogs started barking like crazy.  I got as far as the living room door when Daniel randomly shouted out 'Fuck' quickly followed by 'Police' (pronounced like po - liss) and I nearly fell over laughing which then had a knock on reaction with Holly, Daniel and Jordan.

By the time I got to the door, I was crying with laughter at the thought of the Po - liss being at the door but instead it was Friend with Perks, standing there, holding out flowers to me and wondering why I was in hysterics! I was totally taken aback I can tell you.

It was lovely to see Friend with Perks and he gave me a Valentine's card as well which was a complete surprise as he doesn't really go in for that kind of thing but he knows that I do. He only stayed about 15 minutes as he was on his way to his work but he really made my day.

During all the laughter, Holly carried on making a Valentine's Day book for David and continued to draw during all the laughter and mayhem.  David likes dragons so the story is based on 2 dragons and the work that she has put into it is immense!  I hope he really likes it. I managed to get some pics of the finished article for you all to get a sneaky peak.  So do you want a wee look???

This is the girl dragon sleeping in her nice little girlie bubble


then one day her bubble gets popped and she plummets to the ground!

Luckily, she lands on a tree first, breaking her fall but then falls further to the ground. Boy Dragon is wondering what all the ruckus is!

Girl Dragon lands on her head.  Boy Dragon is smitten

Girl Dragon thinks...ooohh too but her heart got broken in the fall

She is very sad but then Boy Dragon has an idea

he gets some crazy glue and sticky tape and 'fixes' it!


and now they are ever so happy!


so Girl Dragon asks the question


So there you have it!  Very cute huh?

Happy Valentine's Day everyone.

Sunday, 13 February 2011

In sickness and in health

The dreaded lurgy is still hanging around.  I stood under the shower for 20 minutes yesterday and I felt much better for it.  So much better that I was able to get Jack out onto the floor and do some exercises with him.  He was a total star and was up on his knees for nearly an hour, supported of course. I do his exercises on a crinkly mat so that he makes a sound with every movement he makes which then persuades him to do it again. 

Then I encouraged him to play with one of his toys that had lots of things to twiddle, turn and bash.  He really has lost the ability to do all these things but soon got the hang of it.  He was peeking at it but constantly had to be encouraged to reach out. Once he had reached out, his little fingers automatically tried to grab things so that hasn't totally gone yet.  It is lovely when he shows interest in these things. 


Then just after I'd fed him, he had a seizure and was sick.  The reason he is sick is because the seizure causes his chest to go into such a spasm so that when the seizure relaxes its grip, he then gasps for air, coughs and chokes and this makes him sick.  

Fortunately he isn't sick often unless the seizure is particularly violent or it is quite soon after he has been fed or given some water.  He has been sick 3 times with seizures in the last 2 days.  Twice yesterday and once the day before.  It can be very stressful when he is sick because I have to get him onto his side very quickly so that he doesn't aspirate any of it.  Very hard to do, when you have a child who is totally rigid or is in a chair!

The sickness itself is what I call 'comedy sick'!  There I go again poking fun at something that is so not funny but hey, sue me, it's how I cope.  What I mean by 'comedy sick' is the kind you see in comedy films or comedy sketches where it comes out projectile like, like it's coming out of a fireman's hose!  It might come out in a straight line but it goes every freaking where!  We both end up wearing it and Holly is running about like a headless chicken looking for something to catch it in!  Quite funny really.  After the clean up and panic over, Holly and I just look at each other and start laughing!  



So today after being sick yesterday, he is coughing a lot again, more yucky stuff but still clear at the moment but he is a bit hot.  I am hoping that it stays that way but if not, then it's more antibiotics, more days off school so fingers crossed people.

Ironically when Jack was ill last week with his chest infection, he was so flat and listless that he didn't have any seizures for about 3 days!  Most kids when they are ill, fit more and that is an indication that something is brewing.  Jack hasn't read that particular medical book so he makes his own rules, bit like his mum and does the complete opposite.  I love that about him, it makes me smile that even in his disability he adds his own little quirky slant to it.

Holly on the other hand is valiantly fighting off the lurgy.  She has been to the new boyfriends house to meet all his friends and he has now met hers.  So that awkward bit is over at least.  The poor boy has had to get a contract phone that gives him unlimited texts so that he can stay in constant contact with her.............awww young love! After spending the whole day together on Friday, she spent over 3 hours chatting to him on her mobile while I meanwhile had to suppress the giggles when I was thinking of the bill that Father of the Year was gonna get this month.  It's the price you pay when you give your daughter a contract phone and no hard and fast rules. I am so wicked!



The good news is that now i am able to get a hold of her via mobile now as she always has it switched on in case Daaaaaaaaaaaavvvvvvvvvvvvvvviiiiiiiiiiiiddddddddddddddddddddddddd calls or texts. Oh to be young and in luuurve..  He is so keen that he is coming to see her tomorrow, Valentine's Day, at 10am!  I don't think he has sussed that I don't call her the 'duvet monster' for nothing.  She is so like her mum, not a morning person at all!  Ten in the morning is like 5am to us night birds, it takes us at least an hour, copious amounts of coffee/tea and a shower to function at just the basic level.



So in order for her to be looking fairly decent I will need to wake her at 8am.  When I told her this, she just smiled! Wtf?!!  she must really really really like him!

Aaaawwww cute or what!



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