My friend, Angie, sent me a text a few months ago suggesting that I do a post on my blog, if it wasn't too painful, on having cancer and the subsequent treatment. She felt since I had helped her so much that it was only fair of her to share me!!!
Now when I had
cancer, at the tender age of 24, so traumatised was I by the whole situation that I wanted nothing to do with helping other people going through something similar. In fact when I was well enough, I started running as fast as I bloody well could in the opposite direction of anything remotely to do with cancer.
Twenty years later, the memories are still as fresh today as they were then. At the time I was given 6 months to a year to live but I was not ready to bloody leave yet, too much mischief to get up to still.
Unfortunately I couldn't outrun the little bugger and it came back to bite me on the ass when 2 of my friends were diagnosed with cancer within months of each other and then my sister was diagnosed not long after.
So what advice and knowledge did I pass on? Mmmmmmmmmmmm well let's see. My advice was at times a bit off the wall and of course, brutally honest.
So here it is, in no particular order, The Good, the Bad and the Ugly of having cancer and subsequent treatment.
1) If a junior doctor is having trouble getting a needle in your vein after the 7th try in vein no 7, you are perfectly within your rights to scream at them through your tears demanding he gets someone who knows what they are doing! Hell even after the 3rd time, start screaming your head off!!!
2) Yes
that is a vein on the inside of your wrist and believe me they are not afraid to use it.
3) I don't know how, or why but you will take an ill will to one person during your illness. They don't have to have done anything, in fact are completely innocent of wrong doing but every word they utter, everything they do will piss you off royally. You
know it is totally unreasonable but you just can't help it.
4) The first dose of chemo is so easy that it lulls you into thinking that the rest of the treatment is gonna be like that. Not so.
5) Losing your hair is the most traumatic of experiences but once it is gone, it's gone and hey you wouldn't believe the amount of money you save on hair products! A fortune, believe me.
6) If a doctor is in the middle of giving you chemo and you start to 'up chuck', when he scoots back in his chair to avoid said spewings, remember to follow him because you are still attached to him via a butterfly needle! lol
7) Being sick is the most lonely feeling in the world.
8) You never knew how important your eyebrows where for putting on make-up until now!!
9) Your bladder takes a heck of a beating when you are being violently sick.
10) All that pressure on your bladder causes it to become "sensitive" and you think you need the loo every 10/15 mins.
11) You don't have to suffer for 18 years like me, cos there are pills for this!
12) When wearing your wig, try really hard not to scratch underneath it too often as the middle parting ends up half way down your head!
13) You don't think that you are ever going to feel beautiful again but you will.
14) Having piles, thrush and mouth ulcers all at the same time doesn't bode well for 'his' chances of having any kind of sex!
15) When your doctor mistakes your best friend for you, then tells her that her blood results are ok so she can have her next chemo, don't correct him like I did cos if just one person could take a doze of the lethal stuff for you, it would be
amazing!
16) Fear becomes your nemesis, it haunts you, lurks behind you and keeps you awake at night.
17) Visualisation is one of your most powerful tools. I used to imagine my chemo was like lots of little pac men zooming around my body munching up the the bad cancer cells. It really helps.
18) My consultant at the time told me that having a positive mental attitude counts towards about 70% of your treatment and the chemo/radiotherapy makes up the rest.
19) If someone suggests a faith healer to you don't automatically poo poo the idea. They don't interfere with your treatment, are non invasive and real faith healers don't charge you for their services plus having another weapon in your armoury in your battle against cancer can't do any harm.
20) When someone you know dies of the cancer you have, it can be totally devastating as your fear becomes overwhelming and panic can set it. Just because they have the same kind of cancer as you, it will present differently so no two cancers are the exactly the same.
21) Once you have fought an illness like cancer, you are never the same. It changes you and things that seemed important no longer are. Friends and family often find it hard to adjust.
22) Your tolerance for people who moan about a cough or cold is at an all time low and really they'd better get the fuck away from you cos you have a lowered immune system and could die from their sniffles!
23) One of the long term side affects of your treatment is that you can be badly affected by smells. My stomach still turns when I smell the perfume Poison cos it is strong and sweet smelling and reminds me of the smell of my chemo concoction! I also can't stand the smell of hospital canteens, have been known to turn green at the smell and be sick.
24) Drip stands become the devil and can make you queasy just to look at them.
25) Once you have had the all clear, everyone wants to celebrate but all you want to do is cry. Cos once the fighting is over for you, there is nothing to hold back the fear which you will have to live with for the next few years til you are so many years clear. It's like your very own rain cloud hanging above your head.
26) Every ache, pain, lump will put you on high alert and send you into orbit. In my case, I spent many a time peering down my mum's throat to see if hers looked like mine and was not amused when she cracked up laughing because she had had her tonsils removed and that's why she didn't have the same lumps at either side of her throat as me! Bitch! lol
27) Your skin can become really sensitive and you may have to go for more natural products. If you've lost your hair, remember to moisturise your scalp as it can become quite dry.
28) If you lose your hair you will be amazed by how much heat you lose from your head without your hair.
29) Your heating bills will get quite high because sometimes during chemo you just can't seem to keep warm. Bed socks are brilliant for keeping your feet warm as they are much thicker and great for wearing around the house. Also sewing scarfs onto turbans/hats can really help keep your neck and head warm.
30) The hardest thing about dealing with cancer is the huge emotional impact it has on your life. You use all your energy to lurch from one chemo to the next and you push all your emotions down and squash them into a small container in your mind, snap the lid on and forget about them.
31) The problem with this is that you keep having to do this, so there becomes a build up and the container lid starts to strain under the pressure and when you least expect it, the pressure lifts the lid and you can't hold back the tears. But you only cry enough to relieve the pressure so there is little relief.
32) You are frightened that if you truly let go then you will never be able to stop those painful, gut wrenching heart breaking tears and you will lose control. We hold on so tight to our emotions because when you are going through an illness like cancer, this is the only control you have.
33) No matter how tough things get, laughter is still the best medicine.
34) Hugs are the best therapy but people are often afraid to touch you cos they see you as being so fragile.
35) If you are crying, everyone can cry but if you are smiling, they have to follow your lead.
So there you have it, Cancer from a patient's point of view. So if you know anyone with cancer and I am sure you do, then let them read it, bet they recognise so much of their own experience on this page and it will help families who feel helpless too, cos they will know now just how much strength it actually takes daily to keep smiling and positive.
