Wednesday, 11 August 2010

Relationships - The outcome!

Last week was a tough week. Holly finally lost it with her boyfriend and ended the relationship. He still wasn't getting how upset she was by the whole scenario and couldn't see what the big deal was. So like a man!

We were sitting in the garden at my friend Heather's house. I had booked Holly and my "adopted" daughter Tammy a relaxing massage at Burnbank Holistic Therapies which Heather has just set up. Tammy had gone in for her massage first so that left Holly, Jack and I with Heather's two girls, Harriet and Mollie.

Holly and her boyfriend were busy texting back and forth when suddenly she said "Mum, I've dumped him!" Ten minutes later she was saying "Mum, have I done the right thing?". I could only reassure her that she had, because she could not cope with him going to stay with this girl and therefore it wasn't something she could accept and move on from. She was very flat and low and we all tried to cheer her up but to no avail.

Soon Tammy came back, looking like she had been asleep for an hour, which I think wasn't far off the mark and Holly went off for her hour of relaxation.

While she was away, I filled Tammy in on the proceedings and Harriet and Mollie, who are 12 and 10 both said Holly was a lovely girl and could find a much better boyfriend. Oh so wise at such a young age already! I did have a wee chuckle to myself especially when Mollie said that he was pretty silly and a smelly old bum cheese!!! This seemed to spark off lots of names and we were all chipping in with bits to add to that so that we eventually came up with that "he was a big, smelly, mouldy old bum cheese with lots of holes in it". Don't you just love kids lol.

Then Harriet fetched a piece of paper and pen and we had great fun writing it down and signing our names against it! Mollie was concerned that Holly wouldn't like what we were writing but I assured her that Holly would find this hilarious. How could she not? Soon we were on a roll and we added that he was "slimey and sticky like seaweed", like "baby sick and marmite" and smelt like "Victorian pee!!", this one was a Mollie special!

Harriet had left the bottom half of the page for Holly to write her own insults and we explained this to her when Heather was finished with her massage.

This definitely had the desired effect and put a smile on her face as we spent the next 20 minutes adding more insults to the page. These included "a big blood filled tick hanging from a dogs bum!", "Gollam poo" and my personal favourite "a big green soggy bogie".

I can't begin to tell you how therapeutic this exercise was and it was very tame compared to what names we could have called him! Laugher is the best medicine and we were all in hysterics by the time we had filled the page and were onto another!

Back home I had a very quiet daughter and it continued like that into the next day. I was aware that they were still texting and she then said she was gonna meet up with him and talk. I reminded her to be strong and stick up for what she believed was right, kissed her and sent her on her way.

I spent the next two hours pacing back and forth not knowing what to expect and then she phoned to say she was on her way home.

She was barely in the door and I was firing questions at her, poor girl. Basically they talked for what seemed to be forever and he FINALLY got where she was coming from and said he would cancel the trip as he wanted her back. So they are back together.

What can I say? Nothing apparently! I just have to be there to pick up the pieces again and as Holly herself said, "I know you think I shouldn't take him back but this is my first time at love, I have to make my own mistakes and I am not ready to let him got yet".

I couldn't have said it better myself :-)

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