Tuesday, 2 November 2010

Teenage Kicks

A few weeks ago, Holly and I went to see The Midnight Beast in concert.

Who you say? That was my reaction too believe me cos they definitely weren't in the charts and I pride myself on being semi up to date re my music. Especially after spending years in the wilderness of Barney/Tweenies/Teletubby/Disney songs!

Turns out they are a bit of an internet sensation. They first did a parody of Kesha's Tick Tock and if I am totally honest, I preferred their version. Sorry Kesha!

They have done loads more since and their videos are really really funny, at times a bit rude and they swear a bit but not too much.

The band consists of three guys from London called Stefan, Ash and Dru. Stefan is Holly's favourite cos he is so CUTE don't ya know. The other two are cute too but no she only has eyes for him. I am sure I used to feel the same way about Shakin' Stevens but I was cured!!! No bloody laughing from you lot thank you very much!

Anyway back to TMB, so there we were on a freezing Sunday night outside G2 in Sauchiehall Street, Glasgow. The queue was long but luckily we arrived early so we were quite close to the front. Not sure if it was lucky cos I think we had longer to freeze our bits off.....45 minutes to be precise! It was while we were queuing that I first got a real insight into the minds of teenagers.

We had been standing there a while when Holly and I both kinda became aware of a conversation taking place behind us between two girls and a guy. They were obviously so into their topic that they hadn't realised how loud they had got but here is the conversation with my reactions to it in brackets!

Guy: so do you prefer a small, medium or large penis? (wtf????)

1st Girl: definitely not small, n not large cos that would be scary, so a medium (snigger)

2nd Girl: yeah a medium, cos you would be like Aaaahhhh to a large one! (ya think?)

Guy: so what size would you class as medium then

1st Girl: bout 6-8inches (lmfao oh you're in for a surprise!)

2nd Girl: any more than that and you would choke! (at this point I nearly choke!)

Guy: that's about the size of mine, so and so (didn't catch his name) says he has a
large one and it is, it's huge (how the hell would you know?)

1st Girl: no he hasn't. I can tell just by looking at a guy if he has a big cock or not!
it's a gift I have. (aye right, along with x-ray vision!)

Guy: he has I'm telling you, I have seen it when I've been to the toilets for a pee. You
forget us guys have to get our dicks out (ewwwwwwwwwwww enuf said!)

1st Girl: I'm telling you he hasn't and I am never wrong (how does she know? Tart!)

2nd Girl: she's like, never wrong (do you like, go up and ask the guy to show you it?)

Guy: so what's your favourite sex position? (don't tell him!)

1st Girl: missionary so then I don't have to do anything much (lol she'll learn)

2nd Girl: I like girl on top so that I can control what is happening (that's my girl, you'll
go far!)

Guy: yeah I prefer that too so that I can just lie back and watch (jesus christ, how old
are these kids? Trying to sneak a peek)

2nd Girl: though I will try most things I just hate giving head (OMFG they look about 15!!)

1st Girl: yeah I once had a guy shove my head down there and it was disgusting! (eyebrows are
now disappearing into my hairline!!!)

Guy: I like oral. (no kidding sherlock! I am fighting to stop myself from butting in now)

At this point I caught Holly's eye and she is laughing at my shocked expression! She informed me that her and her friends have these kind of conversations ALL the time even though most of them haven't had sex! Now I thought I was open minded but bloody hell, I was still playing with my dolls at their age! Well not quite but you know what I mean.

It's is really getting cold now so I am trying my best to keep warm and I was looking around me when I realised that apart from one other dad, we were the only two adults in the queue! I am so sure I must be cramping Holly's style but she was like "no way, I would rather be with you". Ahh I so love my daughter who thinks her mum is pretty cool!

Finally we get into the venue, just as well cos my teeth are starting to chatter. You know you are getting old when you are surrounded by teenagers wearing skimpy clothes and YOU have a jacket on AND you're shivering! It's so not good!

The Midnight Beast were brilliant. They had us jumping up and down and I was surprised that I knew quite a lot of the words! They played all the old favourites Tick Tock Parody, Les Be Friends, Friends For Never, Down, Ninjas and my own personal favourite Daddy which we have dubbed Jack's song cos it's about a dad who ran off with a Spanish cleaner and how the kid never gets to see him! Tee hee hee You should look it up, it's funny!

My one disappointment is that they didn't perform their version of Mariah Carey's All I Want For Christmas which is so so funny. It will definitely be the version I will be singing this Christmas! God I am bad :-)

Afterwards we hung about outside the venue for another 45 minutes in the very rare off chance that they might make an appearance and OH MY GOD they did! Holly was beside herself and managed to get her photo taken with Stefan. We both got our photos taken with Ash and Dru and we were like two cheshire cats afterwards, grinning from ear to ear!

I have been to loads and loads of concerts over the years as music is my thing but I can honestly say that I have never hung about outside after in the hope of meeting the band so this is a major first for me and another experience to strike off my Bucket List! Not that there is one you know but if there was........

Walking back to our hotel, Holly astounded me by saying that this had been the best night of her life EVER! Woo Hoo and she'd spent it with me, oh and of course The Midnight Beast.

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