I was walking the dogs as usual today which is totally an everyday event. Not much happens, not so today.
I take them on the same walk every day. We walk around the cathedral, into the park then in by the mini golf course where the River Lossie runs and they spend a good half an hour leaping into the water, fetching sticks I have thrown in for them. Then we cross a small bridge, onto the other side of the river bank and they spend a a mad 10 minutes running around chasing each other, then along the river bank, over another bridge, back around the cathedral and home. Simples!
All was going well until we reached the second bridge. It's pedestrianised but even so it is quite a busy bridge so I normally keep them to heel until I see there are no kids or cyclists on the go then I tell them to run off.
So there I was, keeping them back, saw no one was there so off they ran, very excited. Loki, the puppy was in the lead and she was so excited that I don't think she realised where she was going and the next thing I see is her taking a leap over the side of the bridge and just disappearing! It was like one of those cartoon leaps, like Pepé le Pew. Jesus Christ my heart nearly stopped and I started running in panic to where she had jumped, only to see no dog in the water but could hear a rustling in the trees and shrubs on the river bank.
I was convinced she was hurt cos she had to have fallen about 10ft so I started calling her name and running up and down the bridge frantically searching for her. Eventually I saw her in a clearing just at the bottom of the wall and she tried to jump up and I tried to grab her but to no avail. She tried this a few times and I could see that she was beginning to panic and was making noises of distress.
So there I was hanging over the wall trying to grab her when I suddenly see this blur of golden fur fly past me on the left hand side and suddenly Shiloh is right beside her and I am thinking AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH For Fuck's Sake!!!!!!
You are probably wondering why she didn't just climb up the bank but it is blocked by a huge building and you can't get around that side without going the long way around, which is the route we had already taken.
Shiloh, bless her, then tries to jump back up and fails dismally so then she starts running around and Loki is following suit thinking this is quite a good game. Meanwhile, I am having a moment of insanity thinking "I am gonna have to climb down there and get them!" before the sensible part of my brain kicks in and says "wtf, ya stupid girl, then you'd all be stuck!" After a fleeting image of me and said dogs being rescued by Firemen, I was tempted to throw myself over the wall after them but then had another fleeting image of us making front page headlines and decided it was definitely a no no!
I then started to frantically look around me for help, but sods law, not a soul going about so I take off, running, back over the bridge, all the while shouting their names, back along the river bank until I found a clearing where they could see me.
I am standing there, waving my hands like a total nutter, yelling their names til I am hoarse and the stupid dogs are looking up at the bridge, where I was originally standing, crying! Eventually Shiloh, who is usually a total blonde, spots me so I started shouting on her to come and she takes a belly flop into the water and starts making her way across the river to me, thankfully with Loki in hot pursuit.
When they got back over, I was all over them, giving them hugs and Shiloh was kinda wondering what all the fuss was about whereas Loki was a bit more subdued, which is rare cos she is such a happy dog, so much so that I am sure she is on uppers!
After I checked them both for injuries, my heart finally started to calm down so I made them sit until I pulled myself together! Two minutes later we were back over the bridge, this time, no leaps into the unknown, thank god!
Later on, I was telling Marion, Jack's carer the whole saga and she couldn't stop laughing and saying that "there wasn't a day that goes by without something eventful happening to me!".
Hey, it's not my fault, honest! I can't help it if I have two psycho dogs, who are both a sandwich short of a picnic.
The irony here is that I bought the dogs as a means to help me DE-STRESS!!!
I think I need a refund!