Tuesday, 5 April 2011

It's not all it's cracked up to be

When I was about 12 my mum had a mini breakdown.  My dad was away working offshore and we didn't know who to call.

She had been under a tremendous amount of stress because one of my sisters was getting into so much trouble with the school, police etc. Many a night we were out traipsing the streets looking for her as she'd run away.......again.

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Eventually one night, my mum just lost it.................over a packet of biscuits no less.  She locked herself in her bedroom and wouldn't come out.  Eventually after lots of knocking on the door by us all and getting no answer, we just left her alone and got on with our school work etc.

At around 10pm she saunters in the back door of the house, much to the shock of her children who were under the impression that she was still in her bedroom.  At first we thought she was drunk but it soon became apparent that she had regressed to a little girl right before our eyes.  We all tried to get her to tell us the telephone number of one of her friends but she just giggled and skipped off into her bedroom.

Out she came 10 minutes later in her nightie and dressing gown, still skipping and singing to herself.  We tried all sorts of ways to get her to tell us her friends numbers but all she would say was "I'll only tell Stephen."  After chasing her and the dog, Rusty, around the garden Stephen finally managed to persuade her to tell him.

I think the fairies had gotten to her!  (source)
So she leaned in and whispered in his ear before laughing hysterically and skipping off again. You should have seen the look on Stephen's face when he told us that she'd only made "pssst pssst pssst" noises in his ear!  This went on for about 2 hours and was very distressing for us all but finally we found my mum's address book, phoned her friend who arrived quite quickly and then phoned the doctor.  One injection later and my mum was sound asleep.

Years later, when the stress levels in my life were reaching an all time high, my lovely daughter Holly (who was about 12 at the time) was worried that I was going to crack.  I promised her I wouldn't and began telling her the story of my mum.  After listening intently to the story she informs me that "if you are going to crack up, could you at least be something interesting, like a fruit bat, so that I could take you to school for show and tell!!!" Wtf?  Yes apparently she'd seen a tv programme where someone had cracked up, thought they were a fruit bat and spent their time on this climbing frame, hanging upside down, nibbling pieces of fruit!

a fruit bat (source)

Oh to be loved. So basically she is ok with me cracking up, as long as I am interesting!

Fast forward another few years and we are retelling the story to a friend who was laughing at Holly's comment.  Holly adds another gem to the story by saying that " well if you crack up and say you will only tell Jack or the dogs, then I am screwed! Cos none of them can blinking well speak!".

I laughed so hard, I cried.  For someone who is so intelligent she can be such a numpty sometimes as half my friends numbers are logged into her mobile phone and also the home phone.  Is she banking on there being a total technology crash, just to cap it all and add to the drama on the night I choose to crack up? She is such a drama queen.


Well she'd better stock up on the fruit, that's all I'll say.


  1. If you go the "fruit bat" way - please make sure Holly has my email.

    I am pretty sure I can sneak some kind of fruit into Scotland and talk you down off the ceiling.


  2. LOL...

    you better not crack...unless you decide you are famous humor writer..

    great early day laugh!


  3. Holly is hilarious! It's a wonder you don't spend all your days laughing at her!

  4. You are both hillarious and I cannot imagine how either of you could help form laughing all the time.

  5. You and Holly - well, you should be a double act on stage!! So funny how you seem to bounce off each other. I was sorry to hear the story about your mum though. It must have been very worrying for all you children at that time;

  6. Skippymom - oooh it would have to be a special kinda fruit to do that!
    Bruce - LOL, me a famous writer....woo hoo!
    Emptynester - oh but I do!
    Odie - it's a laugh a minute here, definitely
    Thisisme - I keep telling her that! It was a bit scary at the time but I can laugh about it now

  7. Kids say the darndest things! I have on idea what would happen to me if I cracked. I just hope that that doesn't happen.

  8. AD - don't they just! I'm hoping it doesn't happen either lol


Laughter is the best medicine and it's free. Thanks for visiting my blog and I look forward to hearing from you.

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