Back to normal

I can't believe it has been a month since I last posted. So much has happened but I will save the telling of that for another day.

Suffice to say, Jack is doing well. He had his operation, his cast is off and he is now free to roam around the floor with me in hot pursuit.

Trying to change his nappy is like trying to hold down an octopus! He has gotten so tall and so strong all of a sudden that he fights me when I try to do anything that gets in the way of his exploration of my living room floor.

The other day, I was sitting on the floor in mid nappy change when he decided he was bored, rolled over practically crushing my leg and I couldn't get him to lie back down. I started shouting to Holly for help and was yelling "he's got my leg!". She came in, laughed and said "he's not a shark ya know, he's not gonna bite it off!"

That set me off into a fit of giggles and the two of us were helpless with laughter . It took two of us to hold him in place while I sorted him out. Thank god it was just a wet one or it could have gotten messy. Afterwards I felt like I had been wrestling with an Alligator...tee hee hee. Who needs the gym when you have a child like Jackyboy.

Doesn't he look so grown up all of a sudden?

I had started to relax a little after removing the large unit from the living room after he got his leg caught under it and was feeling pretty smart that I had removed all dangers. Huh! NOT SO! Granny Mac reliably informed me one day after looking after him, that she had to rescue his arm from under the sofa. AAAAHHH!  I can see me emptying the living room of all furniture at this rate and all that would be in the room would be bean bags for us to sit on. Jack would just love that, more freedom to roam. 

It is now the school holidays and they are off for 7 weeks. Eeek! I think I will have to turn to wine to get me through! Lol. Luckily I have a trip to Rachel House in August so I am looking forward to being spoilt and spending some quality time with my girlie.

My two dogs are so so happy to have me home again. Shiloh (the blonde one) has been practically trying to crawl onto my lap, every opportunity she gets. I just can't pet her enough. She has always been demanding but now she is worse than ever. When the carers who come in at night make a fuss of her, she sits there lapping it up and then she turns and give me such a look as if to say "this is how I am meant to be treated". It is hilarious to watch and usually sends me into fits of laughter. I am sure she is the dog version of Holly!

Loki and Shiloh sitting pretty

Next weekend it is my birthday and for the first time ever, Holly can come out with me to the pub. I am so excited about that! She suggested going to see Magic Mike at the cinema first so that I can be treated to half naked men before we get dolled up to go out. Oooh err! I have taught her well me thinks.

Hope all is well in your world.

And the nominees are.....

Last week was a pretty good week in the Mckenzie household.

On Tuesday I was in Perth attending an award ceremony held by Scottish Association of Social Workers. I, along with her boss and one of the directors of Aberlour Childcare Trust had nominated Janet for an award because she is pretty damn special. Now, it takes a hell of a lot to impress me so when I say she is good, I truly mean it.

We had a lovely time but I have to say that although it was taking place in the Perth Concert Hall, it was a very low key affair so much so that it was held in the foyer! We had to ask for seats as all the seating around tables were taken and so we ended up sitting off to the side and we stuck out like a sore thumb.They did provide wine and canapés which we were quite happy to consume.

Gill and Sheena

Thankfully the company more than made up for it and when the awards started, I struggled to hear what was being said as the speaker was standing on the stairs and not close enough to the microphone. This forced me to listen very carefully when the award for Residential Care Worker of the Year was called. I knew that Janet had done good when the speaker said "well done" to her after introducing her.

When it was announced that she had won the Highly Commended award, we whooped and hollered our appreciation. I was so so chuffed for her. Basically that makes her the 2nd best care worker in Scotland. A high accolade indeed.

Janet and her well deserved award

We celebrated at a place called the Bothy where we had a lovely meal, a few drinks and great conversation.

lovely food to be had here

Well done Janet, couldn't have been awarded to a nicer person.

Then two days later, it was Jack's birthday. My lovely boy was 14 so I had a birthday tea for him complete with cake (even though he is nil by mouth) cos although he can't eat it, we can!

Birthday Boy

Time to open presents!

and more....

Aww gee I think I need a lie down :)

We had a lovely time especially since he was so alert and interested which was absolutely lovely. He scored big time with lots of prezzies and money which I will save in his piggy bank til he needs something. I was totally exhausted after which was a wee reminder that I am still not back to normal after all the stress and trauma of the hospital.

Friday was a busy day, packing Jack's bag for respite as he was in for the weekend. Just as well as I had another award ceremony to attend.

This time it was in Elgin and it was the Moray Young Citizen of the Year Awards which Holly's school had nominated her for. I was over the moon and quite emotional about the nomination alone as she so deserves it. She has had to grow up fast being the sibling of someone with major health issues and she never resents the time I dedicate to him or the times that plans have had to change at the last minute as he has been ill or respite has been cancelled.


She still manages to keep up with her school work, hard as it is as studying in our house is not the easiest with all the comings and goings but she still manages. Last year she gave up her own birthday celebrations to take part in the Youth Outdoor Challenge at Badagouish with her team raising the most money in her school. On top of that she has had to hold the fort at home over these hard hard few months while Jack was so unwell, looking after the dogs, buying in food, paying bills, budgeting, fielding phone calls whilst at the same time dreading answering the phone in case that call came form me. She is on the sixth year leadership team, helps kids who are bullied and is in general just a very lovely girl.

I think I am biased but that was just some of the things that her teachers had written about her for the nomination.

Diz, goofy around!

Don't know what's going on here!

The evening turned out to be quite a posh affair and was held in a local hotel. Holly, Diz and I were met with a red carpet and non alcoholic cocktails which were delicious. The first round of awards were given out to children in primary schools and then we were treated to nibbles in the shape of little pots of noodles, buckets of wedges, chicken satay, chicken pakora and soup in shot glasses! Just when we thought we couldn't eat any more, they brought out miniature sweets in little cups and shot glasses accompanied by plates of cupcakes. Heaven!

Yummy cupcakes

Eat me!

Pudding in dainty cups

Holly, Kerrie and her parents

Other half of the table - Team Zambia who also won an award

Then more awards and finally the big one, Moray Young Citizen of the Year. Nominees names were called out and asked to stand while the speaker told us a little bit about them until there were only 3 names left, Holly being one of them and Kerrie, also from her school who was sitting next to her. The speaker explained that there were 2 Highly Commended Awards as well as the main one. The first name was called and then it was between Holly and Kerrie who were on the edge of their seats holding hands.

Kerrie's award

You could cut the tension with a knife. Then Kerrie's name was called and she went up to receive her award which only left Holly who could barely breathe by this time. When they shouted her name, myself and Diz high fived each other and we were whooping and hollering, fit to burst as Holly took to the stage. I was so unprepared that I didn't get a pic of her getting her award as I was so flustered and couldn't get my fingers to work the camera!

Woo hoo I got an award!

One for the wall me thinks

Holly  was quite tearful as they read out some of the lovely things that had been written about her and I could have hugged her half to death so chuffed was I.

All in all, a damn good week wouldn't you say?

Til next time my little gigglers.

A day in the life of...

I can't believe that March is nearly over. It has been a manic few weeks. I seem to have so few hours in the day to myself and from the moment Jack gets home after school it's full on busy busy busy.

There are lots of changes going on. My overnight care for the month is now over and I am down to 4 nights a week which is ok and I think I will manage with that. I am losing my Crossroads carer Marion, who has been with us for the past 9 years because the contract was up for tender and it was won by another company.

Lots of changes at the respite unit Jack goes to as well for the same reason and I am sad to see that one of the Managers, Gill, is moving on too as another company have won the contract for the service, which was stupidly split into two separate contracts. Huge upheavals all round.

I will miss them both as they have been a huge part of our lives but they aren't leaving totally as I think of them as friends so they wont be getting away that easy!

Jack still continues to astound me. My boy has been up on his knees without support for the first time in over 3 years. When I get him out of his chair and onto the floor, I can no longer expect him to be in the same position for more than 5 mins as he has other ideas and makes his way around the room by rolling or pulling himself up onto his knees. It is a delight to watch but also very stressful as he is on continuous feed during the hours of 2pm to 7pm and so I have to chase him around the room, untangling him from his feed pump hoping and praying that he doesn't pull out his jejunoscopy tube which would be a disaster!

I could take the easy option and just leave him in his chair but who wants to sit in a chair for 5 hours?

This was Jack on Sunday. 1st time he's worn his protective helmet in 3 years!

It's Jack's birthday and he is 14 today. After what we have been through the last few months I can honestly say that I never thought he would make it to this day. He is such a fighter and the hero in my life.

Holly is delighted to have us both home. I knew things were back to normal when I walked out of my bedroom the other morning as she was walking out of the bathroom. She took one look at me and let out such a blood curling scream that I nearly pooped myself!!! As I hung onto the bedroom door, clutching my heart, she shouted at me for giving her a fright! Geez I know most people don't look good in the morning but surely I am not that hideous.

I swear that my children are trying to shorten my lifespan.

About half an hour later, I was nipping into the bathroom as Holly was heading down the stairs. Just for fun, I came to the bathroom door and let out a blood curdling scream to which Holly nearly jumped her own height (which is quite far, let me tell you), clutched her heart and promptly burst into tears! All I could do was howl with laughter while she ranted and raved about how NOT funny I was. I laughed so much, I cried and thank god I was close to the bathroom cos I laughed so hard I nearly peed myself!!!!

Aaaah revenge is just brilliant and highly entertaining don't you think???

I have been hobnobbing at one of two award ceremonies I am attending this week. Get me, eh? But I will save that for another post as I have a birthday tea to organise so I'd better get off my butt and get going!

Plus it's a beautiful day here in sunny sunny Scotland and I really should be out there enjoying it. Take care my little gigglers.

Mother's Day trauma

Well hello March.  At last I am starting to feel warmer, spring is definitely in the air and the sun is shining here in Scotland.

I love the month of March.  Jack was born in March, on Mother's Day in fact. Since he was born, Mother's Day didn't fall on his birthday again until two years ago.

Since my mum died, I dread Mother's Day.  When I get a calendar at Christmas time, that's the first date I look up so that I know what date it is going to be and I get any march birthday cards early so that I can avoid the stands containing those dreaded cards.

This year when I looked at the calendar, no mother's day date, anywhere, at all!  Then I came to the conclusion that it must be because I have an Anne Geddes calendar and since she is Australian, maybe the dates are different there.

So I searched my diary and still no date!  Confused or what?  Now I am peed off cos how can I avoid the dreaded date, when I don't even know when it is!

I mentioned this to my friend Kathy who then informs me that "guess what? Mother's Day is in April this year!!".  I am totally gobsmacked! WTF????  How can this be, it's always been in bloody March!

I have to admit, since my mum died, I have noticed that the date for mother's day has been a bit erratic.  It always used to be the third Sunday in March but over the last 5 years it has been at the beginning of the month, half way and even near the end.  I mean, what is going on?

So this is my question people.  Who decides?  Is there a wee guy/lady in a wee office somewhere with a giant calendar trying to mess with my groove?  Is it just pot luck, as in they blindfold themselves and just wave their finger around, just point to the damn calendar and where their finger lands is where mother's day is? Or is it to do with the planets? Or is is science?  Tell me cos I need to know!  Is it connected to Easter cos again that used to be in the middle of  April and now it is at the end of March.  Seriously, whoever has the job, I just want you to know that you are seriously f**king with my chi!!!!

source

Anyway, I digress.  I was going to tell you about two years ago when Jack's birthday landed on Mother's Day for the first time since he was born.  My mum's birthday was the day before, 21st and Jack's birthday/mother's day was the day after.

The day of my mum's birthday, Saturday, was spent running around buying supplies for his birthday party and collecting the cake.  I had ordered an ice cream cake cos he was really struggling to eat at that point but when I went to collect it, they had ordered the wrong size!  The cake was lucky if it would feed 6 people as opposed to the 10+ people who were coming to his party.  Eeeek! Panic set in but then Kathy, who is a chef, calmed me down and said that we could give the ice cream cake to the kids and she would make a Baked Alaska for the adults. Phew!  Thank god for friends!

the very small birthday cake!!!

We had been so busy, had been in and outta shops/supermarkets all day and we were just driving home when  I realized that I had forgotten to buy flowers for my mum's grave.  Kathy was all for going back to to the flower shop or the supermarket but I had truly had enough of shopping by this time so as I was driving out of Forres (a town 12 miles from Elgin), I spotted some wild daffodils growing by the side of the road.

Quickly I pulled in and Kathy looked at me as if I had gone mad.  I explained that we were going to pick these daffodils, cos they were my mum's favourite flower and lets just hope we don't get caught!  As we set to work, a bus full of passengers pulled up on the opposite side of the road and people were giving us a good eyeballing but I was so intent that I didn't even notice them.  Soon we both had quite a good bunch of daffodils each, so we dived back into the car and sped off.  As we were driving along, Kathy commented that "she was sure it was against the law to pick wild flowers by the road side" and I laughing said "I'm not sure, I know it is!!!!" as I cracked up laughing.

We both giggled all the way to the cemetery in Elgin, like a pair of naughty school girls.  Kathy, who had the daffodils on her lap, soon had a lovely wet patch there and we figured it was a wee bit of Karma for stealing them.  We both agreed that my mum would have found this highly amusing and probably would have done the same thing herself if she had been in my position. All this laughter meant I was able to cope with being at her grave on her birthday.  Three years had gone by, at that point, since she had died and I still found it really really hard.  Instead of being sad that day, I was giddy from the laughing at the thought of her reaction to her 'stolen' daffodils.  It turned out to be a really good day.

Myself and Kathy, partners in crime

The next day, Jack's birthday/mother's day we were up early preparing for Jack's party.  Kathy took this opportunity to inform me that she had never made a Baked Alaska. Eeeekkkkkkkkk! So we looked up the recipe on the internet and she had a go anyway.

it turned out pretty good eh

The day went really well, his cake was yummy and the Baked Alaska even better.
Jack was pretty flat for the first half of the day but he rewarded me with the biggest smile and it just melted my heart.

getting ready to smile at me....

A big cheesy birthday grin!

The two days I had dreaded were not so bad after all.

This and That

Holly got the part!!!!  She had an audition for a part in a short play that is being shown in about 8 weeks at the Moray Film Festival.  She had the second audition last night.  There was only two female roles so it was unlikely I thought, that she would get it but she did, she got the part of Lexy in Friends and Neighbours.  We were both jumping up and down with excitement and it took her ages to calm down.

Exams start tomorrow too and the nerves and stress are starting to show and it's poor me who gets it in the neck, so there are lots of deep breaths on my part before I speak after she has "snarled" at me as I know it's not personal!

Jack is a bit listless and lethargic just now, I think he is definitely in teenager mode, requiring a lot more sleep but he did give me such a look yesterday as if to say "will you shut up woman, I'm trying to have 40 winks here!" that I couldn't help but laugh.  He might not be able to speak but he has, like his mum and sister, such an expressive face that you can't fail to know what he is feeling.

Birthday wishes today to my friend's son, Joseph who is 9 today (I think!) and to another friend's daughter, Katie, who is 11 today.  Hope you both have a lovely day and that there is lots of cake!

I got a look at the finalised plans for Jack's bathroom this week and chose the colour of the flooring and the wet wall for the shower. I went for a more masculine colour this time, since he really uses it more than Holly and I do. His bathroom had already been adapted but now he has outgrown the changes made so we have had to give it an overhaul such as ripping out the bath and putting the shower in it's place. Removing old shower and putting in a radiator twice the size of the one there as the room is really cold! Next step is finding out if I am eligible for a grant towards it so here's hoping cos I had to pay half last time, costing me a cool £6,000.  Ouch ouch ouch!  It hopefully shouldn't cost that much on this occasion as they are not knocking into other rooms this time.

an example of a shower for the disabled

I am feeling pretty exhausted right now and January seems like such a long month doesn't it but hey we are only a few days away from the end of it.  It's times like this, when I am so tired that any mention of Father of the Year is enough to make me "growl" and "snarl" like a rabid dog with major issues cos really, apart from paying for his children, he gives me no help with Jack.

He has had Jack 3 hours in the last 2 years.  After running about like a headless chicken to get Jack to his house for said 3 hours this time, last year and then picking him up after, I was really thinking it wasn't worth it.  When Jack goes to his dad, Granny Mac has to go there too as Father of the Year doesn't know how to do any of his personal care, meds, feeding etc, he just lets his mum do it all. It's not that he hasn't been shown how either.  When Jack stayed over night, Granny Mac slept in a bed next to him and got up through the night when Jack had a seizure. Also Jack's dad really doesn't know how to interact with him so Jack gets a few minutes of his time and then his eyes are automatically drawn towards the TV.  I know all this because Granny Mac and Holly have told me.

The final straw was when he brought back the hoist that I lent him and he left it lying in Jack's bathroom in two parts,.  It was so heavy that I couldn't lift it so had to wait for Holly's pals (teenage boys) to come around and they put it back together for me.

So I decided enough was enough.  I told him that he needs to make his life and his house Jack friendly by getting his own hoist and taking Jack to his house and back in a wheelchair accessible taxi.  Suffice to say, it hasn't happened and I refuse to let him come into the house just to peer at Jack for a minute or two then chat to Holly for 20 minutes.  It's his loss and he has missed out on the pure love that Jack has to give and the cheeky little smiles he bestows upon us when you least expect it!  And the thing he does with his eyebrows, raising them at me, questioning what I am doing can have me in hysterics!  But most of all he has missed out on this..............

Cuddles!! They are truly the best

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW isn't he a wee sweetheart?

They both are lovely kids and I love spending time with them.  Holly put it perfectly today when I picked her up at lunchtime as she has conned me into taking her home every Wednesday for the foreseeable future. Wtf???? Anyway, I digress, she said "I love this little arrangement we have going here cos I get to come home and spend time wif my mum and not be alone at lunch times on Wednesdays".  Laughingly, I said "oh and do you think I am loving the fact that you're messing with my day?" and she said "you love it, I know you do!".

Can't argue with that!