Monday, 13 September 2010

I'll never be a nurse!

Holly has a bit of a trapped nerve. It plays up once in a while and this week is no exception.

Thursday night, after coming home from her boyfriend's house, she did her usual, grabbed the TV remote and threw herself onto the sofa for a bit of chill time. Meanwhile I was busy setting up Jack's feed and getting his stuff ready for the next day so left her to it.

About 10.45 I shouted on her to put the TV off as it was time for bed. As I walked past the living room after locking the doors, switching off lights etc, she let out this almighty yelp and started hopping about the room like a demented frog!

Off course I am used to Holly's little dramas so by now I am half way up the stairs and I'm like WTF? "You were all right a minute ago! What's wrong with ya?" Meanwhile, Holly is doing some weird kinda dance, yelping and muttering how much it hurts. Eventually she says "you'll have to help me up the stairs, you'll have to let me lean on you".

So, like the dutiful parent that I am, I stomp back downstairs and hold out my arm for her to lean on. So she grabs my hand, leans on my arm and we do this sort of shimmy to the living room door by which point, I am now seriously in pain cos she is gripping my hand so blinkin' tight and leaning so hard on me that I have lost about a foot in height and if I hadn't leant against the wall when I did, she would have knocked me off my feet and fallen on top of me.

By this point, I am laughing hysterically cos there is no way that I am gonna get her upstairs like this. I am 5ft 3 for god's sake and she is about 5ft 9, we'll never get as far as the first step before she knocks me over!

Poor Holly is getting seriously pissed off at the fact that I am in hysterics so she gets down on all fours and attempts to crawl up the stairs with me following slowly behind. The going was slow and at times I thought she was gonna fall and we would both land in a heap at the bottom of the stairs!

She was wearing a skirt as she been to her boyfriend's house for dinner as it was his 16th Birthday. So half way up the stairs, I burst out laughing cos suddenly the skirt had ridden up and I was faced with her butt, which just so happened to be purple at the time cos she was wearing purple tights. She was most unimpressed by my humour once I explained what I was laughing at and muttered under her breath bout how unsympathetic I was then she let out a cry of "and I bet you put this on your blog!" which made us both laugh cos ya just know that is a foregone conclusion!

Finally we were at the top of the stairs and I had to help her to the toilet and we WONT go THERE, I owe her that much. I'm not that cruel......snigger snigger! Then I had to run around switching on her lights, taking orders from her and even had to go back down stairs to get her a drink! WTF? Milking it or what? I could hear her laughing as I was in the kitchen, she is not her mother's daughter for nothing.

The drink was dutifully brought up and then we were on the home straight. As I walked back into her bedroom she was lying on the bed fully clothed saying, "you'll have to help me take my clothes off!" The look on my face sent her into fits of giggles especially as she was lying on her back with her knees drawn up, just like a baby, all ready for me to start!

As I am hauling off her tights I am muttering that "Ok, one child with a disability is bad enough but two is seriously taking the piss and someone up there is having a laugh, and she'd better not be unable to walk tomorrow don't ya know!!!" This gave us both an attack of the giggles and we were lying on her bed laughing uncontrollably, tears running down our faces.

Eventually I got her bottom half changed and thank god she was able to do her top half herself! Then I massaged her hip and helped to get her further up the bed and tucked her all in.

I was still laughing as I fell into my own bed at the vision of her purple butt, it reminded me of a giant plum with legs!

I think it is fair to say, that I don't have what it takes to be a nurse, my lovely daughter can definitely vouch for that but I could be a doctor cos after all isn't laughter the best medicine?

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Laughter is the best medicine and it's free. Thanks for visiting my blog and I look forward to hearing from you.

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