I have been separated from my ex husband for 8 years now, divorced for 3. Tomorrow, 16th September, would have been our wedding anniversary. I will be celebrating the release from those marriage bonds with a very large glass of Vino Tinto and a major boogie around the room to MTV!
It has been a hard 8 years. I never wanted to be a single parent and I was grief stricken and angry that he had thrown us into this situation and devastated as my daughter, who was 8, happy and confident, became a clingy, confused child before my eyes. Jack, who was 4, didn't really understand but his sleeping pattern became more erratic.
Since then Jack has developed Epilepsy, been on so many drugs and diets to control it and been in and out of hospital constantly. Holly became a very introverted child and didn't have many friends, was bullied at school, was joined at my hip and never slept in her own room.
I lost my lovely mum to a horrendous illness called Motor Neurone Disease. She suffered for 2 years and we, the people who loved her, had to watch.
Jack has also lost the ability to eat and walk and now my house is filled with medical equipment, adaptations and more medication than you can shake a stick at! Despite this he remains a happy laid back child.
Holly has turned into a beautiful, confident and happy girl. She now has loads of friends and attends theatre group, mask theatre, guitar lessons and anything else she reckons I might pay for! Her social life is SO much BETTER than mine.......Grrrrrr!
There is so much more that has happened but hey, that's for another day but suffice to say that throughout all of this, there has been very little support from my ex.
He provides financial support and I guess for that I should be grateful.........NOT!
But the biggest change of all, is the change in me. I am no longer the wife who tiptoed round her husband, who had to ask permission to see her friends, told that she was stupid and that she talked crap and who was no longer attractive. Oh no, this girlie has turned from a moth into a butterfly.
I have realised that actually I am anything but stupid, have a very valid opinion and only speak crap when I am pissed which is not very often these days........bummer! I also know that I am attractive, just not first thing in the morning and definitely not after a night on the piss and speaking crap lol. I am not any skinnier but hey I've learnt to work it baby! I am so much more confident now and even if I am not, am very good at faking it and other things if the need arises! Ha ha ha
I see my friends and family, there are many, you all know who you are, as often as I like and these are the people who have been behind me, cheering me on and celebrating my achievements. To you all, I salute you and I look forward to many more adventures to come.
Most of all, I am very very happy being me. My kids think I am cool and so do their friends and that is good enough for me. Our house is filled with laughter, fun and silliness and it never would have been this way if I had still been with my ex.
So for the ONE and ONLY time in my life, I say a big heartfelt thank you to Allan, Tosspot Extraordinaire for having his affair and moving on and making some other woman's life miserable. It did turn out to be the very best birthday present you ever gave me although I would have preferred diamonds cos at least I could have sold them at a later date!
That's why tomorrow, as I am supping my lovely Vino Tinto, I will be celebrating all you great women out there who, like me, have been there, done that and bought the t-shirt and who are now "doing it for themselves".
You go girlies.............Yay!