On top of everything else I have been dealing with in the last 5 months I have also been dealing with the break up of my relationship with Friend with Perks.
I had hardly seen him while Jack was in hospital as he lives on the Islands and even when he was on the road in his lorry we never seemed to be in the same place at the same time.
Yes, we had lots of conversations on the phone and endless texts but going through all this with Jack made me realise that actually what I needed more than anything during that time was one of his amazing cuddles.
The less they were available to me the more I wanted them and by New Year Eve I had come to a decision.
I would rather be alone than hanker for someone who couldn't give me what I needed. It was a hard decision to make whilst I was already in the middle of turmoil but as you have already gathered by now, I don't do things by halves!
He has been part of my life for 7 years, cheering me on, lifting me up when I was down, making me laugh when all I wanted to do was cry, telling me how wonderful I was and he was always interested in what was happening in Holly and Jack's lives. He brought me back to life after a horrendous separation and divorce. I will always be grateful to him for that.
We were only meant to be friends with benefits but I crossed the line and fell in love. He loves me but he isn't able to give me what I need so I had to walk away. It hurts but I am ready for something more and if it comes along great but if it doesn't then so be it. If you love something, you have to set it free....right?
I am so sad because I know that I am not going to be able to be friends cos it hurts too much. Better to have a clean break.
I wish him all the best and I will always be glad that I knew him.
I had hardly seen him while Jack was in hospital as he lives on the Islands and even when he was on the road in his lorry we never seemed to be in the same place at the same time.
Yes, we had lots of conversations on the phone and endless texts but going through all this with Jack made me realise that actually what I needed more than anything during that time was one of his amazing cuddles.
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The less they were available to me the more I wanted them and by New Year Eve I had come to a decision.
I would rather be alone than hanker for someone who couldn't give me what I needed. It was a hard decision to make whilst I was already in the middle of turmoil but as you have already gathered by now, I don't do things by halves!
He has been part of my life for 7 years, cheering me on, lifting me up when I was down, making me laugh when all I wanted to do was cry, telling me how wonderful I was and he was always interested in what was happening in Holly and Jack's lives. He brought me back to life after a horrendous separation and divorce. I will always be grateful to him for that.
We were only meant to be friends with benefits but I crossed the line and fell in love. He loves me but he isn't able to give me what I need so I had to walk away. It hurts but I am ready for something more and if it comes along great but if it doesn't then so be it. If you love something, you have to set it free....right?
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I am so sad because I know that I am not going to be able to be friends cos it hurts too much. Better to have a clean break.
I wish him all the best and I will always be glad that I knew him.
That's a very tough decision to make. You are a brave woman.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie
Although it is so extremely difficult Lyndy - I am proud of you for making the mature decision and [in the long run] the best decision for you.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry it had to happen now, but it is funny what puts our lives in perspective, isn't it?
Hang in there and know we love ya'! Hugs my friend.
You are an amazing lady and somebody even greater will come along. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteSounds like you made a good decision for yourself, but it does hurt to lose someone like him.
ReplyDeleteIt is sad that you had to let him go, but I think you already know that you have made the right decision. I agree with the others, and I think you were very brave to make it, but otherwise it would have just dragged on, with him never being able to give you what you really needed. I honestly think that you are worth so much more than that, and I pray that you will find that special someone in your life to give you lots of cuddles! Hugs.
ReplyDeleteSweet Thang that is a tough one for sure but absolutely the right decision. Making it a clean break is also a good decision because you don't want to keep the wound irritated. I will be praying that God will send the right person across your path to fill the void. We have all grown to love you Holly & Jack so when you hurt we hurt too.
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Odie
:(
ReplyDeleteyou are a very strong, amazing woman. i know that it was a very tough decision for you.
What an amazingly brave decision. As hard as it is, you could see that in the long run it was going to be detrimental to you, and if it's detrimental to you, it will be to the children too. You have been able to do a wonderful thing, that not many of us are able to do, put your head ahead of your heart, for the sake of yourself and your children. You are a truly selfless and amazing mum. Someone just fantastic, just at the right time will come along.x
ReplyDeleteOh, Dearest lyndylou.
ReplyDeleteHow brave you are that you made a decision you have to make!!!
No one may understand the feeling you are going through, I just want to say that you will be able to hang in and get through the tough time soon.
Love you always from Japan, xoxo Miyako*
Hello! How do you feel about young composers ?
ReplyDeleteA hard decision for sure, but you just never know what lies ahead. You are an amazing woman.
ReplyDeleteJanie - not sure about that but I know what I need and he is not it.
ReplyDeleteSkippyMom - awww thanks so much.
Bouncin' Barb - I hope so :)
Belle - it certainly does :(
Thisisme - me too x
Odie - very tough but I will get through this my friend
Teresa - yeah it kinda sucks
Lynsey S - I think with all that was going on with Jack, a light bulb just went off in my head and that was it
Anonymous - lol I don't know, I haven't met any young composers :)
Kellie - the future looks brighter now
Dear Lynne...it is amazing to me how big your heart is. With all you are going through you took the time to leave very sweet and kind words on my post about Holdie. Yes we miss our sweet put still, but kindness like yours helps heal our heartache.
ReplyDeleteTake care dear friend and I hope Jack's seizures are slowing back down again.
Much love...