Holly has entered the relationship world....again. His name is David and he seems kinda cool. There has been lots of texts, msn and facebook chatting over the last few days and last night while we were in the kitchen, she started telling me about his friend who took over his facebook chat and asked her a lot of "awkward personal questions".
Now Holly was not in the least fazed by this as she isn't her mother's daughter for nothing and I think he got more than he bargained for.
I was rummaging in the kitchen for something to eat as I had an attack of the munchies and came across some very ripe plums so opted for this healthy option, much to my disgust really, as there wasn't anything remotely exciting apart from that.
So Holly is telling me the story as I begin biting into this very juicy plum. With the first nibble I realise that this is gonna be a messy business as the juice is squirting everywhere so I hang over the sink, taking bites and laughing at the funny parts of her story. I am not making much headway with said plum so with still half of it to go, I shove the whole thing in my mouth and start to chew around the stone.
I am doing ok and have nearly gotten most of the plum away from the stone when Holly makes me laugh so hard that I bloody inhale the stone and it gets stuck in my throat. Trying not to panic, I try to swallow and pour myself some water at the same time. It goes down a little bit so I chuck the water down my throat and the whole lot goes down but my face is a picture as I explain to Holly what has just happened.
This sets off another bout of hysterical laughter followed by lots of burping and hiccuping from me and I suddenly start freaking out that I might of aspirated it into my lungs! I thought Holly was gonna wet herself she was laughing so hard while I was most indignant that she wasn't taking me seriously! I mean, hello, this is not some small pip we are talking about here, this is a humongous stone for f**k's sake! Ok, slight exaggeration but you get the drift.
In the middle of my major flap around the kitchen, Holly manages to get a hold of herself and starts texting furiously on her iphone. I'm now calming down about the aspirating, I think I am spending too much time around Jack but then the dawning realisation that what goes in, must come out, kicks in and my eyes get great and big again while I am muttering "oh just my luck, no doubt it will come out sideways and my poor butt will never be the same!".
Now Holly was not in the least fazed by this as she isn't her mother's daughter for nothing and I think he got more than he bargained for.
I was rummaging in the kitchen for something to eat as I had an attack of the munchies and came across some very ripe plums so opted for this healthy option, much to my disgust really, as there wasn't anything remotely exciting apart from that.
So Holly is telling me the story as I begin biting into this very juicy plum. With the first nibble I realise that this is gonna be a messy business as the juice is squirting everywhere so I hang over the sink, taking bites and laughing at the funny parts of her story. I am not making much headway with said plum so with still half of it to go, I shove the whole thing in my mouth and start to chew around the stone.
I am doing ok and have nearly gotten most of the plum away from the stone when Holly makes me laugh so hard that I bloody inhale the stone and it gets stuck in my throat. Trying not to panic, I try to swallow and pour myself some water at the same time. It goes down a little bit so I chuck the water down my throat and the whole lot goes down but my face is a picture as I explain to Holly what has just happened.
This sets off another bout of hysterical laughter followed by lots of burping and hiccuping from me and I suddenly start freaking out that I might of aspirated it into my lungs! I thought Holly was gonna wet herself she was laughing so hard while I was most indignant that she wasn't taking me seriously! I mean, hello, this is not some small pip we are talking about here, this is a humongous stone for f**k's sake! Ok, slight exaggeration but you get the drift.
In the middle of my major flap around the kitchen, Holly manages to get a hold of herself and starts texting furiously on her iphone. I'm now calming down about the aspirating, I think I am spending too much time around Jack but then the dawning realisation that what goes in, must come out, kicks in and my eyes get great and big again while I am muttering "oh just my luck, no doubt it will come out sideways and my poor butt will never be the same!".
Holly is hysterical with laughter, as am I and then she drops the bombshell that she has just put my trauma as her status update for facebook.
I feel loved!
I feel loved!
